Hangin' Tough

2012-02-05T21:17:00.004-07:00

February is my all-time favorite month, not only because of my birthday at the end, but I love red and pink, Valentine's Day, hearts, chocolate, being in love and enjoying the perfect Arizona weather all month long. I am not a mushy person but I am a lucky girl with a wonderful husband. I am so blessed and love being married. I love being a mother, too, but it is not as blissful, obviously.

The Lord has decided to turn our lives upside down. About a month ago I received an impression that we needed to return to Utah. That has been heart-breaking. I cried the first 12 days straight over it. I love my life here. I thought I had it all planned out; we never wanted to move and are still trying to understand. Honestly, I am in denial. I still cry whenever I have moments of lucidity.

Two weeks ago Scott felt a prompting to return to school; he moved quickly to get his application and transcripts in to BYU by the short deadline of February 1st. Now we are waiting to see if he gets accepted. BYU was the best choice (my alma mater) and the only school in Utah that will not cost us out-of-state tuition. Scott is really excited to return to school and finish his degree. I am excited for that opportunity for him. We are trying to decide if he will work full time and go to school part time or vice-versa.

We do not know where we will live, what we will do to support our family, where the kids will go to school or why we need to return to Utah. All we know right now is that the Lord is guiding us, a little piece at a time. We accepted an offer on our house on Friday. Now we hope and pray that the bank will accept the short sale. We are hoping to stay here until the end of May so the kids can finish out the school year with their friends.

The past six years here have been the happiest and hardest years of my life. We gained Myles and Landon while living here. We lost Willy, Scott's dad, and Elliot, our stillborn son. I had to have my appendix out, do a D and C on another lost baby last year, and have suffered from thyroid/adrenal fatigue/hormone/food allergy and stomach problems for the past two years. Gratefully I am finally coming out of that nightmare and am gradually gaining my health back. Paying on this house has been a severe financial hardship that has taught us a lot about living frugally, prioritizing true needs vs wants, being generous even when money is tight and that the greatest service you can give costs nothing more than your time and a piece of your heart.

I love my life here and am so sad that a chapter of it is ending. Scott and I both hope to return to Arizona, but it will never be the same. I feel a great loss as I have come to love and claim Arizona as my home. I have made a great life here and know I can do that wherever I go, but it will not be the same and that saddens me. I trust Heavenly Father, though, and am working on accepting His will in this. I am so thankful that I have a few more months to adjust to all the changes that await our family.

The Polar Express

2012-01-28T20:12:00.006-07:00

Early in December we went to Williams and rode the Polar Express with Grandma Peggy and Grandpa Bill. The whole day was an adventure: we realized too late that the DVD player didn't work. As we got closer to Flagstaff and temps dropped, we realized our heater was broken; at a gas station someone told us that the freeway we were taking was closed ahead because of snow. We had to backtrack and take back roads. At a small town I googled a mechanic and he fixed our heater. It was 12 degrees and I was freezing! Originally our plan was to find a place to go sledding before the train ride, but a 3 1/2 hour trip turned into an 8 hour trip. Luckily we made it to the train station with a half hour to spare. The experience was worth the trouble. On the way to the North Pole we listened to the story of the Polar Express. We loved the hot chocolate and ginormous cookies. We got to see Santa and his elf out the window at the North Pole. Santa then came aboard and gave all the kids a little bell. My boys were mesmerized by him. The ride was about an hour and a half. When we got off the train the sun was already setting so we raced to find a spot to go sledding before it got ridiculously cold. Remember, our winters boast a low of 30 degrees, sometimes. We sledded for maybe 20 minutes before the kids and I called it quits.

I learned a lot from this trip. We make plans and prepare for our adventures, but sometimes things don't go as planned. We have detours and delays, disappointments and unexpected trials. We can get stressed and throw in the towel or we can adjust and be thankful for the happy, positive people we have around us. We will never forget that wonderful trip together.

New Family Pics

2011-11-01T14:34:00.006-07:00

I don't have much to report. We had family pictures a few weeks ago. We met a woman who needed computer repair so we were able to trade the full cost of her skills with Scott's mad computer skills. What a blessing! I love how they turned out. I am so blessed to have such a great family. We are all doing well. Here is a brief update:
*Scott is trying to survive the load at work. He has worked three unplanned overnighters in the last six weeks. He would work 18 hours after sleeping only 3, then head back to work the next morning. He is also swamped with his calling and being a wonderful husband and father. I am so grateful he is a hard worker with great integrity.
*Bailey is doing well at school. We just love her teacher this year. She is doing great at math and enjoying piano. She is growing up so quickly it hurts sometimes.
*Myles is having a hard time at school. Last week he spit at an aide and called her, "Stupid head!" If you know Myles, this is not like him at all. I don't know if it has to do with losing Elliot, but he was the child who was most affected. We are trying to help him make better choices while also providing consequences. Parenting can be hard sometimes.
*Landon gave up naps a few weeks ago so that has been a struggle. He falls asleep in the car anytime he is strapped in past 1 pm. By 5pm he is a bear. He is still so fun. I can't believe he will be three in two weeks. I am trying to get excited about potty training. That is a definite oxymoron.
*As for me, I am hanging in there. My life is really good and I know I am blessed. That doesn't always remove the ache from my heart, but I have 90% good days with only 10% bad and I owe that to the Lord. Last night I ran into a dear friend who was visiting her parents who live in our ward. She had her 6th miscarriage the same week we lost Elliot. She buried a stillborn baby once. I sometimes wish we would have buried Elliot. It was so refreshing to talk with someone who has been where I have been. I always appreciate the good people who ask how I am or give me a hug, but talking with someone who knows and who has survived such loss is different.
We are all enjoying the "fall" weather (translation: anything under 85 degrees) and grabbing as much time at the park as we can. We are getting excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We still enjoy the YMCA and I always love our Saturday nights, thanks to our babysitting co-op. My life is really full and I try not to forget that.

Elliot Keith Barber

2011-10-02T13:21:00.002-07:00

I have had the name Elliot on my mind for about a month now, two weeks before we knew it was a boy and that he had passed away. I was thinking of using it for a girl, but Scott was absolutely not on board with that! Once we delivered him I felt so strongly that we should use that name. My great-grandparents had a baby boy who died before he was two. His name was Keith. I was really close to my great-grandpa the decade before he died. I loved the idea of using his son's name as my son's middle name.
I recently found out what Elliot means and it is another testament of the love of God and His involvement in our lives. In Hebrew Elliot means, "my God is the Lord." It also can mean, "My God helped me." My little Elliot is my testimony of how God has helped me. I have truly felt God's healing and help in my life. Losing this baby has been hard, but when I turn to the Lord, He helps lift this burden helps me face each day. I know God lives and that He is aware of us in our lives, during the good times and bad. I feel so blessed. With God on our side, nothing is impossible. Through Christ's healing, we can have joy despite our pain. I appreciate all that God does for me.

2011-09-25T16:57:00.004-07:00

To be fair and honest to this blog, any readers and myself, today has been hard. I wasn't ready for facing people at church so I stayed home. Landon is horrible during sacrament meeting so he stayed with me. I studied about Emma Hale Smith all morning and was amazed by all the hardships she faced during her life. Why is there so much sadness in this life? How could one person endure so many trials? She was an incredible woman.
My kids are generally awful on Sundays and today was no exception. Scott always is gone with meetings and I often say the devil is alive and well in our home on Sundays. I also don't feel prepared to face the week ahead of me. Of course the Lord is still taking care of me; Scott gets to work from home Tuesday and Thursday, which never happens. That will be a huge help to have him around. People tell me I'm strong but I certainly don't feel strong.
I also had a special experience today; a kind man in our ward came over and gave me a hug. A few years ago this man was in our bishopric while I was in YW. During one meeting I bore my testimony about my dad, the fact that he had passed away while I was on my mission, and how much I missed him. This man later told me privately that he could feel how proud my father was of me and that he felt impressed to tell me that.
Today when he hugged me he asked, "Do you know who that was from?" We both cried because I knew it was from my dad. He smiled and jokingly said, "I've delivered his gift and now maybe he'll leave me alone." I have missed my dad a lot this week, wishing for a hug from him, knowing how long it has been. It's been 12 and a half years since he passed, but I think of him daily, particularly when I could use a dad, a big bear hug, and some great advice. Sometimes life is really hard.

My heart is on the mend

2011-09-24T09:28:00.003-07:00

Last night I was really happy. It made me a little worried, almost guilty, as if I hadn't loved or wanted this baby. But immediately I was reminded of the past four months of stress. I have worried almost daily about starting a preschool and having another miscarriage. Well, preschool is going well. I no longer stress about it. I plan and I enjoy it. Not every day is perfect, but I try to be flexible and go with the groove.
The pregnancy ended. It was horribly shocking to see the ultrasound of a baby so void of life. I did not want to deliver the baby. I dreaded it. But now that I have gone through it I am so grateful for that experience. Heavenly Father did not want me to discount this baby. By delivering him, holding him, naming him, I understand that this baby counts. He is my son. I have another son! And I love him and I miss him. But I will see him again one day. I feel so much comfort, peace and joy from this.
The Lord has done everything He could to make this experience as gentle on me as possible. And I feel like a weight has been lifted from me. The stress and worry of the past four months are gone. I am happy. Of course I will still have times when I cry and mourn my little Elliot (I'm crying now as I type this), but I am going to be okay. I am so blessed and feel the Lord so close.
Thank you everyone who has prayed for me, loved me, hugged me, emailed me, sent me flowers, fed us, checked up on me, and supported me. I could not have done this without any of you, but especially not without my Savior. I know Jesus Christ lives and I know He is always near, waiting for us to allow Him to enter our hearts and heal us. My heart is on the mend.

Baby Elliot

2011-09-22T20:56:00.002-07:00

To my baby Elliot,

How I longed to hold you in my arms, but not this way. I never felt you move inside me, but you moved me. I wanted you to join our family. I would have done anything to have you live. I don't know any other baby that was more prayed for than you. So many people loved and prayed for you. I tried to have faith that you would live. The Lord had other plans, though, and I accept that. I'm so thankful that life continues beyond the grave. Know that I love you and cannot wait for the day that I can see you and hold you forever.

Mom

17 weeks along!

2011-09-10T10:27:00.002-07:00

I have to write about my miracle. This is my 7th pregnancy (lucky #7 I've been chanting all this time) and will be our fourth child. The first trimester was very difficult for me emotionally. I have never had to live daily on pure faith and hope before, at least not to this extent. Each of the four ultrasounds were a reprieve from my constant worrying, but those brief reassurances could not replace the nagging in my head that this baby would not make it. I wasn't sick and didn't feel pregnant; how could this not be just like the other three miscarriages?

I know what a viable pregnancy for me feels like. I am as sick as a dog and I instantly feel pregnant. With the first two miscarriages I was not sick at all and after 10 weeks I had the typical signs of a miscarriage. Last year's miscarriage was the most difficult, though, since we had seen two ultrasounds with a live baby and we had made it past the danger point, or so we thought. I had no warning last year, happily arriving at my 13-week-checkup to unexpectedly see a baby without a heartbeat.

This time has been hard. I have not been sick, have not felt pregnant, didn't really start showing right away and was constantly surprised at each ultrasound showing a live baby inside. For the first 10 weeks the baby was measuring small and I tried to detach myself, prepping for the time when the baby would not have a heartbeat. I have prayed several times a day for this baby and this miracle, but wasn't completely convinced until my last doctor's appointment. At 15 weeks the baby was growing at the normal trajectory and all looked good. I still don't feel pregnant, though I look it and I know soon I will feel the baby's movements. None of this matters, though, because God has shown me how limited my knowledge and understanding is. His ways are not our ways. His plan for each of us is perfect. His plan includes trials and challenges, but the blessings and love we receive outweigh all of that. I am overwhelmed by His love for me, for the peace He has granted me and for my good life. Each of my kids is a miracle and I anxiously await holding this newest miracle in February.

2011-08-16T19:18:00.014-07:00

It's time to update my neglected blog. We had a great trip to Utah. My mom flew in a few days beforehand and then drove out with the kids and me. It was a bonus to have her there from England, too. Scott flew out a week later. We spent almost two weeks there and it was so nice to be surrounded by family and loved ones. I ate up the love and brought it back with me. I especially enjoyed my time with my sister and miss her terribly. She had a little five-week-old my kids adored and her two-year-old provided endless entertainment, as well.
I can't even thank all the people who fed and housed us, who entertained us and just wrapped their arms around us. I love Arizona (I'm over the heat, though) but part of my heart is in Utah with my family and always will be. I kept thinking about how lucky I am to have all four grandparents still living. That can't last long and it was great to spend time with each of them.
We got home on a Friday night and Myles started kindergarten the following Monday. I am so glad he is at this school. It turns out that half-day is perfect for all of us. Landon misses him terribly when he's gone and Myles doesn't seem ready for full-day. I have to admit that I will certainly enjoy this year of only having one school lunch to worry about, even though B prepares hers every day. Bailey has been in school almost a week. She has an energetic, fun teacher (perfect for her!) and is happy to be back with her friends. B continues with piano lessons and has her first recital in October. Myles is beginning a music class tomorrow that he and I are really excited about, "Let's Play Music." It is once a week and I get to attend with him twice a month, which will be fun.
My big news is that preschool has started and I am really enjoying it! I have 8 students (including my favorite one, Landon) and we are having a great time. The first day was a little hectic, since it was all new to me and none of my students had attended any preschool before. After a little tweaking, the schedule went much more smoothly today. I never thought I would teach preschool but I am grateful that the Lord guided me to do this. Landon is in heaven when his friends come over. He is always excited about whatever the activity is and he is an enthusiastic learner.

Bailey is 9/Father's Day

2011-06-27T13:18:00.004-07:00

The kids wearing their souvenirs from San Francisco

Bailey turned 9 on Father's Day. We had a small family party that night. I cannot believe she is already 9. We only have 9 more years until she goes to college. That really puts it in perspective. She is getting so tall and losing her little kid face. She is doing so well in swim team. She has lots of friends and is always ready for fun. This has been one of my favorite summers with my kids. With our schedule (that allows for spontaneity, too) we aren't always hearing how bored everyone is. Bailey had a bounce house party (indoor-thanks to Groupon!) with 4 friends last week. She is a fun, beautiful girl and I'm so blessed to have her as my daughter.
I'm also grateful for Scott. He is a great father and tries to make the most of his time at home. We don't see him much during the week because of work. Sundays he has a lot of meetings at church that keep him away. Saturdays he does his best to get in all the wrestling/tickling time the kids need. He is my greatest blessing; without him I can't imagine my life being happy and fulfilled. Happy Father's Day, Scott! (a little late, I know)

San Francisco - Day 4

2011-06-27T12:54:00.012-07:00

I was so sad that our last day had arrived. I missed the kids, but not as much as I thought I would and I was not ready to go home. We started our day in Japantown because one of the young men had called Scott the night before telling him of his mission call to Japan. We found some great souvenirs for him and more funny toys for the kids there. We had to take a picture of the YMCA there for the kids. They love that place. We were surprised by Japantown; we were expecting lots of shops like Chinatown. Instead, we found a mall and lots of housing. We saw the Chinese embassy, which we found a little odd. They have an enormous Catholic church as well as the famous Fillmore theater.
We had Indian food again and then took the bus to the Golden Gate park. It was beautiful and would have been a perfect place for a run. We enjoyed another day of great weather, though I was cold. The park is massive. If we had had more time we would have gone to the California Museum of Sciences. The park has an amphitheater, Japanese tea garden, the botanical garden and the de Jong Fine Arts museum. We should have saved more time for all of it. Around 4pm we had to head to the BART to get to the airport. We had such a great vacation together. The kids had a blast with Grandma and we had a wonderful time in a beautiful city.

San Francisco - Day 3

2011-06-27T07:42:00.015-07:00

Day 3 was all about the Golden Gate Bridge. We got up early every morning of our trip because we were so exhausted from all the walking we were going to bed early and getting uninterrupted sleep, a novelty for parents of little children. We started out at the Ferry Station. There was a farmer's market which looked incredible. I've never seen blueberries the size of grapes before. We bought our ferry tickets to Sausalito and enjoyed the little shops. We found a french pastry shop with our niece's name so we took a picture of that.
Sausalito is an adorable little town that is considered as close to a coastal town off the Mediterranean Sea as you can get, but in America. I wish we would have had more time there. We had a wonderful lunch-the best salad of my life, which is saying a lot since I'm not a salad lover. We walked around the shops and toured a museum with Dr. Seuss paintings. We looked at the souvenirs but still hadn't found the perfect gifts for our kids. When we were done, we took a bus to the beginning of the Golden Gate Bridge and started our journey across.
It is so windy in San Francisco, but across the bridge was the worst. The bikers coming were grimacing and I almost lost my hat several times. I was freezing, wearing my sweater and jacket and gloves. The bridge was amazing, though. After we walked across we went to Ghiradelli Square and got our homemade waffle bowl dipped in chocolate with two scoops of ice cream. That was worth the whole trip. No other chocolate compares to Ghiradelli's!
Afterward we went to Lombard Street and walked down, then back up to the trolley. We saw some other fun things on the trolley then headed back to Chinatown. We had some delicious Chinese food. I don't love Chinese food, but this was really good. We bought some souvenirs for the kids and for Peggy for taking care of them while we were gone.

San Francisco - Day 2

2011-06-26T17:12:00.014-07:00

Day two was all about Alcatraz. We got to the tour boat early enough that we had time to see the surrounding area. We saw Coit Tower, walked around the Ferry Station, saw some upscale apartments and shops, and enjoyed another beautiful day. We took the ferry to Alcatraz and enjoyed the audio tour there. The history is incredible. There are three prison escapees who were never found, neither were there bodies. We learned about the breakout that led to a few deaths. The prisoners made dummies out of their clothing and fashioned heads out of soap and paint! The gardens on Alcatraz were amazing.
After Alcatraz we went to Fisherman's wharf and had some incredible seafood. We had fun at Pier 39 looking at the shops and enjoying the ocean breeze. We saw some seals who were barking up a storm. We walked a lot again all day long.
Of course we ventured over to Ghirardelli's, though neither of us were hungry. I thought we would be able to see how the chocolate was made, but they don't do tours. We enjoyed the area and then waited for the trolley to take us back to the hotel. We made it in time for the appetizers, but for us non-drinkers it wasn't that appealing. We found a different Indian restaurant for dinner. I could eat Indian food every day, especially in San Francisco.

San Francisco - Day 1

2011-06-26T16:58:00.006-07:00

A few months ago we decided that it was time to celebrate our 10-year-anniversary with a getaway. We hadn't been away from the kids since Bailey was two and Peggy generously watched the three munchkins for us. We celebrated a little early due to school schedules and my starting a preschool. We had four great days together and I miss it already!
We left early Tuesday morning and arrived in San Francisco about noon. After dropping off our luggage at our quaint Inn at Union Square, we ate some delicious Indian food. Scott used his Yelp app the entire time we were there to find the best food within our price range. We walked around Union Square quite a bit that day. The weather was perfect; I think it hit 70. We found Yerba Gardens, which was beautiful. We had to find the Apple store so Scott could play with the Ipad 2, which he covets. We enjoyed seeing the enormous shops and hearing the cable cars buzz through.
We also walked to Chinatown and searched through the many stores for potential souvenirs for the kids. We walked all afternoon and evening. The architecture is amazing. The city is so alive and diverse. We had a great time being tourists. We ate some good Mexican food that evening and then planned what we would do the next day. The Inn we were staying at had some nice touches; they put chocolates on our pillows and had cookies at 8pm. We were told the breakfast in the mornings was a great spread. For the wine lovers there was a nightly wine and appetizer bar. We met so many people from all over the world.

Myles is 5!

2011-06-12T13:09:00.004-07:00

Myles turned 5 on Friday and I can hardly believe it. He says he's ready for kindergarten to start now. He definitely is, but I'll still miss him. He had a blast at his two parties, one for friends and one for family. I got a great groupon for Bounce U so the kids had two hours of bouncing, then chicken nuggets and cake. Later that night we had Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Jill over for pizza and cake. He also got to go to the train park with Grandma and Grandpa yesterday. I think this is his best birthday yet.
My summer has been going really well. I don't know why I never set up a schedule before, but it has made every day fun. In the mornings we do chores, Bailey goes to swim team and then we do something fun (and run errands). We come home, eat lunch, put Landon down while the kids have an hour of quiet time. From 2-4 they can have media time or friends over. I also decided that we are not having friends over every day. That is too much for me. Around 4:30 we head to the YMCA to work out and swim. Then we have dinner and put the kids down we so can start over again the next day. I'm surprised, but the kids have complied well. I thought they would riot after a few days.
I am doing the preschool on my own! My friend had to back out for personal reasons and after having some time to digest that, I have been planning curriculum and getting lots of advice from a different friend (who sold me her preschool after doing it for 6 years). I feel better about it and am looking forward to starting. I'm nervous, but feeling like once I can get the hang of it and get the kids and I into a routine, I'll be less stressed and able to handle it all. I never thought I would be down this path, but I'm seeing God's wisdom in it and feeling much better than two weeks ago when my friend told me the bad news.
In two days Scott and I are heading to San Francisco to celebrate our 10-year-anniversary (a little early). We haven't been away from the kids since B was two so it's time. I've never been to San Fran but I'm looking forward to all of it. We are so blessed that Scott's mom will take the kids for us. I let Scott plan the whole trip, as long as Ghirardelli Square was a major stop. Yum!

2011-05-19T15:01:00.012-07:00

The room looks smaller than it is, although with 10 students it will be "cozy" as they say in real estate

Our Preschool is really coming along. If you've been to my house, it's in the room on the other side of the piano. Landon shows everyone who comes over his new school. He is so excited. The other day he put Myles' backpack on and told me he was going to school. Both boys sat in the van in the garage and pretended it was "school." I have a child gate keeping them out of the real preschool. I am so glad Landon will get to do preschool while Myles is at kindergarten. Life is about to get really busy with Myles and Bailey at two different school and running a preschool out of my house. I'm so glad we're doing it two days/week. Myles will be doing half-day preschool, which is not the norm in our area. I'm glad Landon won't be completely without his buddy, just in the mornings.
We are now part of a babysitting co-op that has been fun and successful. There are four families with three kids apiece; each family hosts 12 kids once a month from 4:30-7:30 Saturday evening. We feed the 12 kids and keep them happy and entertained while the other three couples enjoy their night. The other three Saturdays Scott and I get to be together without the clock ticking on a sitter's tab. We're done early enough to get the kids in bed and still have a quiet night together. I recommend this to anyone with good friends whose children all get along.
We joined the YMCA a month ago and I am so glad. We meet Scott there every day at five. I try to have dinner ready in the crock pot or ready to come out of the oven when we walk in, using the delayed start time option. My kids love going and playing there. The kids' area is incredible: they have an outdoor playground in the middle of the building and it has a rock wall for them to free climb on. It's low enough they don't need a harness. Bailey can do the adult rock wall whenever she wants. When it gets warm enough outside for me (100 degrees or higher) we'll swim there, too. I really love working out without my kids interrupting. I love getting out of the house at the hour my kids are normally whiny and I'm ready to pull my hair out. I love seeing Scott an hour earlier than we normally would. He enjoys working out and has been very consistent at it. I had a hard time selling my treadmill but am glad now. This has been a fun family activity and will be great in the summer heat.
Bailey is done with school next Thursday and then our busy summer will begin. I want to be better about chores and errands in the morning. I need more chore ideas, but like the idea of work before play. B is really excited about swim team. She'll practice Monday through Thursday with meets every Thursday night. Mondays we'll see old movies at the local theater. I'm hoping to implement some daily quiet time. Now that Myles can read it will be more feasible than last year. I don't plan on letting Landon quit napping, either. We will all need some downtime in the afternoons before heading to meet Scott and the Y. I feel like this summer is going to fly by; right now I'm a little antsy for it to start, though I'm also trying to enjoy what's left of my downtime.

Easter

2011-04-27T20:19:00.004-07:00

I would be an ungrateful thug if I didn't mention how wonderful Easter was this year. Scott's aunt and uncle host the whole gang every year at their home. We have a delicious spread of food and this year a sampling of amazing mini desserts. I wish I had thought to take pictures but I didn't even bring the camera. Their family also puts on an amazing color-coded easter egg hunt for the kids. Each kid has a specific color of bag and corresponding eggs to gather. My kids were spoiled once again. It was Landon's first year and he really got into it. He wanted to open each egg individually, not understanding how many, many eggs awaited him.
We also had a pvc-pipe marshmallow shooting war. That was a blast. Unfortunately cousin Katy was really ill and had to head to the ER. The party just wasn't the same after that. Thank you Marlene and your family for all the hard work you put in year after year to spoil us all. You are definitely off the hook for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

2011-04-27T14:25:00.005-07:00

Super short just in time for the dependable heat!

Garage sale day - so grateful for Spring and Jeremy's help!

So much to update! We did our first (and last according to Scott) garage sale. Our neighborhood does one every six months so we decided to take advantage and dejunk this place. We got rid of a lot and donated a ton of things. Although now I've noticed I have enough for another garage sale and no desire to do it. We got some bunk beds off craigslist for Myles and Bailey; I painted their room and now they are sharing. We moved the office to Myles' old room and now our "office" has become a preschool! I have been feeling for a few months that I should start a preschool. I have been terrified of failure, but I'm not letting that hold me back any longer. My friend and I are starting it up in August and I am so excited. It will be a lot of fun and I will be using my Spanish, too. I think this time with Landon will be great, too.
My cousin, Jeremy, stayed with us and we loved seeing him come and go. Unfortunately he was here during a major transition between rooms. At least he had a bed! We put him to work at the garage sale, too. I can't wait to head up to Utah to see my family and extended family. I love living here, but there's definitely a void in my heart at times. Today marks our fifth year of being in this home. I can hardly believe how much we've evolved as a family and how quickly the time has flown.
I chopped my hair and am so glad. I have so much more volume (except in this pic!) and I can no longer throw it in a ponytail and go. I'm very lucky that I have curly hair (never thought I'd say that!) but I really just wash it and go. I love it.
We put Bailey and Myles' names into a lottery system for an amazing school. It's the ASU Preparatory Academy. It's a small school that focuses on academics and allowing children to move at their own pace in all subjects, something public schools are simply too big to do. I have felt strongly about it since my friend told me about it. I'm also thrilled that the kids have to wear uniforms (sorry, Bailey). K-4 is in one school and 5-8 (middle school) and 9-12 (high school) are together on the ASU polytechnic campus. These kids will be using college labs for chemistry and the 12th graders will be attending college classes but with their peers, not with older college students. Lottery night placed Bailey #5 out of one 4th grade opening and Myles was #78 out of 28 openings. My hope was that B would get in and that would bump Myles up to the sibling priority list. Never in my wildest dreams did I think Myles would get in but he did. We are so excited. Now B is bumped up to #2 on her list because Myles is in. If she doesn't get in this year she will automatically be in for 5th grade. I am so excited for the opportunities my kids will have that I never got. We live in such a great place. They begin teaching Spanish in kindergarten. 9th graders start learning Mandarin. From kindergarten on the kids have an emphasis placed on going to college and becoming productive members of society. I'll stop babbling about it, but I am psyched about him getting in!

Spring!

2011-04-02T16:11:00.011-07:00

Myles and Landon enjoying a barrel ride

Myles milking a cow

They boys swimming and freezing in 72 degree weather

The family adventure on the strip

Woody on the strip

Landon with Great Grandpa

Bailey reading to the boys

A few people have been reminding me that I haven't blogged since Valentine's Day so here is a brief update:

For spring break we went to Vegas and had a great time. This is our 4th (and final) year meeting my grandparents there and staying in their timeshare with them. Th The weather was wonderful and we enjoyed the different parks and family activities there. I have a good friend from high school and another good friend from my mission there so we had a great time visiting with them and their families. One of the highlights of the trip was stumbling upon a Ghirardelli's ice cream shop after a disastrous trip on the strip. Delicious!

My birthday was a lot of fun. I've been able to enjoy it one on one with different friends. I also have a diagnosis for my feet - tarsal tunnel syndrome - and am not sure what any doctor can do about that. Any time I wear shoes of any kind my feet go numb. I was sad to find that my feet were both numb after about 15 minutes on the elliptical, which isn't weight-bearing at all. I bought some of the vibram five fingers shoes and am sad that my feet go numb in them, too. I went barefoot running today (fun) but my feet were both numb within a 1/4 mile. I'm starting to think my feet may always go numb with whatever exercise I do. When the pools open up I'll try swimming and see what my feet do.

Last week Myles had a field trip to a local farm. The boys had a lot of fun. It's hard to believe my kids only have 7 weeks of school left. The heat is definitely on its way, but it has been so perfect up until now. Life moves fast but we're all happy and healthy.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T13:20:00.008-07:00

Bailey was such a great helper while Scott was gone this weekend

Landon wasn't feeling good and I took advantage of him letting me hold him

Such a great visit with Arycca

The three amigos while B was at school

Bailey would love a sister after this visit!

I missed posting in January. I actually didn't miss it at all; I didn't even think about it. I have been trying some new things out and am limiting my time online. I am also making dinner every night thanks to e-mealz.com; I love knowing what I am going to cook each night and knowing that I have all the necessary ingredients. Why did I rebel against planning and organization for so long? Our food bill has gone down and we're eating healthier as well. I have been trying to eat less -the whole concept of slowing down and enjoying your food actually works. I still don't sit down to eat very often, but I am consciously eating more fruits and vegetables and feel better than I have in months.
I decided that this is the year to figure out my running injury. My left foot goes numb at various points in the day. About 16 months ago it started going numb when I ran more than 10 miles at a time. Now it goes numb when I first get out of bed, when I go walking, and basically whenever I do anything weight-bearing. My doctor has me on crutches hoping that staying off it will allow it to heal. Last year I spent 2 months with a physical therapist, 3 months with a chiropractor; I saw a podiatrist, a sports physician, even an acupuncturist trying to figure out what is happening to my foot. I gave up after May (and subsequently had to give up running, too.) Since the problem is not getting better, I will try anything. I may never run again, but I still need the use of my left foot so I'm hoping this is the year to solve the problem.
My wonderful, beautiful, sweet, happy, smart, tall and adorably pregnant sister came to visit me a couple of weeks ago. We had the best visit. She brought her little girl, McKinley (17 months at the time) and we had a blast. We all ate them both up. We went to the park every day, talked while the kids napped, cooked together, took turns watching the kids so the other could shower before noon, and a dozen other little-appreciated acts together. My sweet sister is my best friend (besides Scott) and it was so wonderful to have her here. She is a treasure in my life and I can't wait to see her again in July and meet her newest daughter.
Scott went snowboarding Friday and Saturday with the young men in the ward. Then on Sunday he had to leave church early to head to work to fix the latest emergency there. I thought I appreciated him, but after this weekend I have gained an even greater appreciation for my Valentine.

2010-12-21T14:58:00.020-07:00

Birthday boy

It was wonderful to have everyone together

The happy couple

We're thrilled to have two grandpas again

the Barbers

Mr. Myles

Beautiful Bailey

Landon would not sit for a picture

I love this picture!

Myles and Leif = 2 train-lovin' boys

Hangin' at the train park w? COUSINS

(we never see cousins so it was a real treat)

Our house feels so empty without

family staying here

Myles and Landon had a blast with Grandpa Bert

We had the best visit with Grandma and Grandpa

It feels so good to sit and relax right now. I had three major events to put on (fortunately not all by myself) in 10 days' time. We also have had family visits which are so much fun. Stressed did not even come close to describing how I lived in November and most of December this year.

Since my last post Landon turned 2 on November 17th. He is so much fun right now. He seems to be the only one who can entertain himself these days. (I admire all moms who love every minute of Christmas break). He is talking so much. Landon loves to wear Bailey's shoes, won't use sippy cups (because he is too big) and is getting really good at soccer.

Thanksgiving was so much fun with family and loved ones here. Peggy got to introduce her fiancee, Bill, to the family and we had fun eating and playing games. The next week was the Relief Society dinner for the women in our church. It was beautiful and well-attended.

Peggy and Bill got married December 3rd. Scott's sister, Holly and her family flew in from Virginia and Scott's brother, Chris, flew in with their family from British Colombia. We had a lot of fun watching the cousins play. The wedding was beautiful and Peggy and Bill put on a great party. Of all three events this took the most time but was my favorite to do. The church was transformed and it looked great. Did I take any pictures? NO! I forgot. After all those hours of setting up it skipped my mind. If I get any from the photographer I'll post them later.

Our Church Christmas party was fun but only 100 out of the planned 200 showed. By that point, I did not care anymore. The sugar cookie decorating station was a hit. We also had a room where the kids played games, an ornament decorating station and family pics w/Santa and Mrs. Claus. The dessert spread was incredible and the decorations looked great. We also had people bring donations for military care packages.

The next day my mom and stepdad flew in. We had the best time with them; they spoiled us and the kids. We went to a movie (which we NEVER do w/kids) and to dinner (which we really never do w/kids). We saw the beautiful Mesa Temple lights and played games. They made us Sunday dinner (which was great since it was the third Sunday in a row Scott had been at church all day & night). They babysat and entertained and truly were a blessing. I'm so grateful they came to see us and look forward to their next visit, even if we have to wait until 2012.

Side note, I no longer do church activities (or weddings!) and have been put in with the kids. I am really looking forward to whatever age group I get, beginning January 2nd. Also, Scott is now the Young Men's President in our ward. He is going to be a wonderful leader and have a great time with the youth. This past week I have been able to spend time with my little family and I just love each member so much. I'm grateful to have them; they make my life as rich as it is. Merry Christmas!

2010-11-05T23:07:00.002-07:00

I'm crazy! Between now and December 11th, I will be helping with a bridal shower, doing a Relief Society dinner, putting together my mother-in-law's wedding, doing our big church Christmas party and doing the vinyl for a Super Saturday. My life is very busy and luckily Scott helps me to delegate what I can to my committee. Needless to say, I will be very happy to see December 12th and relax and enjoy the true meaning of Christmas. I will probably not be blogging until then!

Lots of California pictures!

2010-10-18T12:18:00.029-07:00

San Diego Temple

beautiful Bailey

the family in front

silly Myles

at the Mormon Battalion Museum
in Old Towne San Diego

it's as cold as it looks

the beach was freezing- Myles eventually
went in but regretted it later as he got sand
in his clothes and was scared of the waves

Everybody loves Sea World!

The dolphins are my favorite

passed out sea turtles

Myles and Scott on Elmo's flying adventure

Landon just loves Elmo

Amazing killer whale show

Such amazing animals, but I couldn't stop thinking
about the February attack in Florida...

Myles on the submarine slide at
the resort's kiddie play area

Landon was freezing but would not
stop playing

Bailey always knows how to strike a pose

Bugs Bunny's world - so fun!

my handsome guys in green
(not planned)

cute Thomas the train ride

part of Thomas the Tank Engine town

Landon begged for the horsies all day

Tweety's Caged ride

Myles would not go near that cat

California Redlands Temple

We had such a great trip to California this past week. We stayed at this amazing Hilton resort in Carlsbad- three nights only cost $50 and our time for a short timeshare presentation. They gave us two free tickets to Sea World, also. We were close to the beach, which only Bailey and Myles braved, and had a great time at the kids' water park and hot tub at the resort. The weather was foggy and cool; the sun came out for a few hours each day.
One of the days we spent at Sea World and had a great time there. The kids got to pet the dophins and we loved the killer whale show. The dolphin show was more human Cirque de soleil than dolphin - very weird. The kids rode the three kid rides over and over. The park was empty and the kids were worn out after walking all day.
The next day we drove up to Santa Clarita (a beautiful little town an hour north of LA) and stayed two nights there. We met up with one of my roommates from BYU and her family. We haven't seen them in 7 years so it was nice to catch up.
The next day we went to Six Flags Magic Mountain. We had so much fun there. The kids never wanted to leave the kiddie ride area, which was fine with us. Scott and I took turns on the real roller coasters. I forgot how much I LOVE roller coasters. Someday Scott and I need to go back without the kids. All of us were worn out after another day of walking, but the park was pretty empty. The kids got to go trick-or-treating there, too; that saved us some money on snacks for the ride home the next day.
During our week we went to see the San Diego, Los Angeles and Redlands Temples. We visited the Mormon Battalion Museum in Old Towne San Diego. We also visited the L.A. Temple Visitors' Center. The Church has done some incredible things and it was great to learn more about the early pioneers. I'm sad the trip is over, but we're hoping the memories will last forever.

2010-09-22T15:53:00.009-07:00

Grandma Peggy with Bailey and Brooklyn

Holly and Bradie

Bailey the Superstar

Myles at the dentist with Bubba Bear
(the traveling teddy bear from preschool)

Landon carrying around a box of cereal
(I'm biased but he's a handsome devil!)

It has been a busy two weeks, and some of what happened I hope to never repeat. 11 days ago I was stung by a scorpion and my toe is finally regaining feeling again. It was in our house, but we think it came home from school with Bailey in her jacket. The pain was worse than when I had to have my appendix out or even labor. I was so grateful it got me and not my kids. I have since sprayed furiously outside and in. I never want to see another scorpion in my house again. As Myles tells people, "We LOVE dead bugs!" I do love to see dead bugs outside. I haven't seen anything inside, which is a good sign.
Last Wednesday was a rough day for me. Full disclosure has always been my policy with this blog, so here goes: I was almost 13 weeks along, went in for a routine OB visit and found out we had lost the baby. I had no warnings this time around (this is our third miscarriage) and despite the fact that we had previously seen the heart beat on two separate visits, it seems this baby was not meant to be. I was very sad, especially since we thought this baby was going to make it out of the first trimester, but I have truly been blessed with peace and healing. The surgery went well and I am feeling good. The first miscarriage was in 2004 and I don't think anything will break my heart like that did. I don't know what the future holds for my little family, but I know we want at least one more child and will just have to see what the Lord's timetable is for us.
Let's have something happy now. Scott's sister, Holly, and her family came to visit this weekend from Virginia. We had a great time seeing them and Bailey and her cousin, Brooklyn really got along well. It reminds me of when I was little and my best friend was my cousin, Kerri. We rarely saw each other (my family lived all over the country while I was growing up) but we adored each other and I have such wonderful memories of being with Kerri. We do wish we had cousins for our kids to play with here, but will just have to adopt cousins of our own for the time being.

2010-09-01T14:39:00.009-07:00

delicious carrot cake from Costco for
our Daddy/Daughter Derby

Landon has to feed himself always

Landon in my high heels after a bath-
Check out the tan lines on this kid!

My little Landon is at such a fun age right now. He is starting to talk more, he wants to say prayers (is that not the closest thing to heaven, too?) and he is curious and delightful. Sometimes he is crazy and loud and stubborn, but he is easily distracted from his tantrums and has such a great laugh. I love watching him try to be like Bailey and Myles, but also doing things his own way. What a clown. I'm so grateful for him.
The last few mornings I have been out with my boys in the jogging stroller trying to run again. I had to take two months off for undefined health reasons. I was exhausted by the smallest things - we're not just talking tired, but sheer bone-numbing exhaustion, felt as soon as I got out of bed. All my blood work came back normal and I have a follow-up in a couple of weeks. I think my doctor thinks it is all in my head. What can you do?
During these two months we have made some changes at home. Scott and I have both felt the need to teach our kids to work. I liked being able to do it all myself (especially because I knew it would be done right, how's that for pride?) and it didn't occur to me to do it any other way. Teaching our kids to work has been tough on me. I don't like the resistance from one child in particular and it takes patience to teach kids to clean, put away dishes, fold laundry, make beds, etc. If you know me, you know I'm not the most patient person...
Two weeks ago Elder Neal A. Anderson came to our Stake and he was talking about preparing kids for missions. The two most important things he said to do were: 1. teach kids to work and 2. teach kids to recognize and follow the promptings of the Spirit. As I have been contemplating what I need to learn from this health trial, I felt very strongly on Sunday that it was the only way the Lord could slow me down so I would teach my kids this important gospel principle. Now that we are in the routine of chores and expectations, it is so much easier for me to keep up with the house and my kids do feel good after they contribute.
Sunday I felt like I had learned enough and that I would start to feel better soon. Monday I started jogging (slow going-amazing how quickly you lose it!) but it has been a source of joy to me and I am so grateful to the Lord to feel more like myself. It is still hot in the mornings, but the occasional breeze, or finding a shady path has felt like tender mercies from Him and I am so grateful that the One who notices the sparrow fall cares enough to help me, too! I love the Lord and I trust Him; I feel so blessed in my life.

2010-08-18T09:26:00.009-07:00

Scott and Bailey on the big day

My mom's parents, Mom and Bert

My dad's parents

family photo-op at the church

our wonderful Bailey

I completely forgot to write about the most important event this summer: Bailey's baptism! I did write in my journal about it, but didn't blog it. It was such a wonderful day for our family. Bailey was so radiant in white. The Spirit was so strong. Many felt Scott's and my dad there. When she came out of the water we both almost cried. We had so many people come to support our little family and we felt so blessed. Bailey had 5 great-grandparents there. My mom and Bert flew out from London to be here. We were very excited to have Scott's family come, too. We had a luncheon of 50 people afterwards. I don't know why I didn't take pictures of our friends and family during the luncheon. What a feast!
I am so proud of Bailey for making such an important choice. She has definitely shown us a great example. She prays over things I don't even think about and her prayers are answered. I love watching her testimony of the Savior grow. What a wonderful girl; we are so blessed to have her in our home.

Summer 2010

2010-08-15T08:53:00.014-07:00

Arycca and her little girl, McKinley

Tyler and Todd chasing London

Todd with Lacee and Landon

Tyler's little guy, Madden

Grandma Linda with Todd's little Lacee

Myles and London, Tyler's daughter

Bailey loved learning to play volleyball

Landon is happy with whatever ball he can find

Two of my handsome boys

The Hermanas-Keira, me, Jessie, Heidi and Janene

It's been almost 2 months since I last blogged. I can't say I have missed it, but I know we have a lot of activities to report. The best part of our summer was our trip to Utah. We loved seeing family and friends. I was able to spend some quality time with my siblings and Hermanas. My mom was still there from her visit from London so the kids got some more Grandma Linda time, too. The drive wasn't that bad but I still wish it wasn't so far.
Last night was our Ward Daddy/Daughter Pinewood Derby; it was a great night and the cars were so cute. We had a wonderful turnout (41 cars) and everyone seemed to have a good time. My committee kept it organized and well-run. I'm very grateful for all the help since it would have been a disaster had I done it alone!
Bailey started back to school this week. She has had a hard few days missing her friends from 2nd grade. We have said lots of prayers that she could make new friends and find her old friends at recess. The Lord really helped her and I'm glad for these opportunities she is having, learning to turn to the Lord and seeing Him help her. I think this next week will be even better for her.
Yesterday we sold my Mazda 626. We had that car 9 years and 145,000 miles. After a year battle with the A/C (and $1400 in repairs) we decided to cut our losses. I am really sad because it was paid off, got great gas mileage and had nothing else wrong with it. Now I am ready for a few things: (1) buying a "new" used car that we won't have to repair all the time (2) Myles' preschool to start (Sept. 7) Myles misses Bailey while she's gone and needs his own social time. (3) "Cooler" weather. I know it's all relative and we won't really see cooler temps until October, but I am looking very forward to it!

2010-06-26T13:47:00.010-07:00

Too much to say...Myles turned 4 and Bailey turned 8. Bailey planned and implemented her own birthday party (which was a hit!) She is getting baptized in two weeks and we are so exited to have my mom and Bert come down along with both sets of my grandparents. I don't know too many kids who get to have all 4 great-grandparents attend their baptism. It will work out well since their grandfathers will be watching from heaven and we need two witnesses.
Myles got a fabulous Thomas the train set for his birthday (which entertains all three kids very well); he has also learned to "moon" his sister. I think those things come naturally to boys. Myles is learning to swim and Landon thinks he knows how already. He walks off the pool steps or jumps in at any time. Landon is crazy at the pool and it makes it difficult to keep him alive but Bailey and Myles are extra-vigilant with him. I don't think they realize that mom is watching every second, too. (of course) Our summer is busy despite my kids being bored out of their minds during Landon's daily 2-hour nap. We're also looking forward to our trip to Utah in July.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T20:28:00.004-07:00

My day began and ended with me facing a sink full of dishes. Because it was a Sunday my kids were crazy and Scott had meetings. I was stressed about my new calling and sustaining as Ward Activities Chair. Why should today be any different, though? Motherhood rarely pauses and that is okay. Before I know it I'll have all the breaks I want and I'll miss my little crazies. Scott and I make sure to do a weekly date and that is a great break. When Myles is at preschool and Landon naps that is a rare break. When all the kids are in bed and I'm sitting with Scott watching and laughing at my favorite show, that is a much-needed break. I love my family and I loved today. I am learning to find joy in the simplest things. Tonight we had family wrestle and hearing my kids laugh and giggle was a reward. Having my kids sing to me in Sacrament meeting was the best present. Without the Lord I wouldn't have all these wonderful treasures and I am truly blessed. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to live up to these gifts from Him. So bring on the trials, the stress and the never-ending feeding, cleaning, loving and exhausting parts of motherhood. Today I welcomed it all.

2010-04-18T09:58:00.008-07:00

Great-Grandma Barber and some of her
grandkids and great-grandkids

Bailey got the pink eggs this year

This was the first year Myles really got
excited about collecting eggs

Landon and Lovely Grandma Peggy

Bailey and Justin

We got released as the Relief Society presidency three weeks ago but couldn't say anything for two weeks because we didn't have church on General Conference and Easter Sunday. I have been sad, relieved and at peace. I wasn't in quite two years, but our President was in almost five! It was time and the next presidency will be great. I was a little concerned about my next calling, but I am calm now. I trust that whatever is coming will be right for me.
Easter was a lot of fun with Aunt Marlene and Uncle Scott, Great Grandma Barber and all cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Marlene went all out (again) and had the kids' eggs color-coded per kid with a color-coordinating bag labeled with their names! We had the best fried chicken and okra and enjoyed seeing family again.
That weekend Bailey's best friend, Justin, came down to visit with his parents. I babysat him for the first three and a half years of his life before we moved here; I love seeing how much fun they still have together.
My left foot still goes numb when I run and is starting to go numb at odd times in the day. My right foot is starting to go numb, just not as often or as completely. My muscles throughout my body are glued together and the only thing that really helps is cranialsacral therapy. I am very blessed to have a friend who works on me occasionally and for free. I went to an acupuncturist a few times. The first time was the most helpful; my whole body was relaxed (for once) except for my right hamstring. The needles weren't painful and if it weren't so expensive I might have continued with it. I did not see any lasting results; the relaxed muscles tensed back up within a few days and the herbs he wanted me to boil and drink made me sick. My next step is to meet with a podiatrist. I will do whatever it takes to beat whatever this problem is!

Busy Month!

2010-03-27T16:23:00.022-07:00

My cousin, Amanda

Landon and my cousin, Jeremy

Handsome little devil

Landon and great-grandpa Bud

aunt Julie and the goofballs

Love you, Grandma and Grandpa!

Pizza party - my favorite!

the kids aren't old enough to enjoy mini golf yet

glow-in-the- dark miniature golfing in Vegas

future heartbreaker

at the train park during Spring Break

Landon loves other people's shoes!

My mom was such a big help this week!

Landon and my cousin, Sean=best buds

Me and Kim before the race

Myles raced right past the cones and kept going

I can't believe how fast Bailey is. I really hope
she'll want to take up running someday...

I guess I'm going to update my blog twice a month instead of weekly. In March we had a blast! My grandparents and aunt and uncle came to visit. Poor guys had to put up with Landon waking them up at night, Myles puking and B with strep throat! They helped us out so much and we had a great time with them here. During spring break we went to Las Vegas to stay with them in a timeshare. We had fun with them and were able to see my best friend from high school and her new little baby. We also got to see one of my mission companions and her new little baby. What a fun trip.
My cousins, Jeremy and Amanda came down to the Suns vs. Jazz game and we got to spend an afternoon with them. Landon ran right up to Jeremy; he even cried when they left. (Keep in mind he's only met Jeremy once and that was last October.) We are so glad they came down!
My mom has been here this week from London. We had a busy week and she helped out so much. Scott had stress at work (stress = late nights) all week and I was in charge of our big Relief Society dinner. We would not have been able to fulfill our church, work and home responsibilities this week without her.
Today marks the 11th anniversary of my dad's passing. I ran a 5K with my friend this morning and my mom and family were at the finish line for me. The run benefited colon cancer; I thought it appropriate to run today since my dad was a runner and Scott's dad died from cancer. I miss my dad but know I'll see him again someday. How Scott and I miss our dads but are so grateful for the men who step in to take their places.
What beautiful weather we have here. I just love my life and am so thankful for it, the good and the bad. All in all, it's been a fabulous month!

My Birthday

2010-03-06T14:40:00.009-07:00

a llama + a cow + ducks + a pig + goats +
a bucket full of bunnies = one fun kid party!

Landon wasn't too interested in the animals

Bailey and Myles had a blast grooming the cow

The owner set up the traveling petting zoo
right in our neighbor's yard

The animals were very patient with
all the neighborhood kids holding them

Landon was happy that Myles was
distracted so he could play with his bike

February is my favorite month and I celebrate all month long, despite the fact that my birthday isn't until the 25th. I had another wonderful birthday this year. On the actual day I went to lunch with a friend and we took the family to dinner. That was entertaining; we went to Chili's where our loud Landon didn't stand out too much. The next day (Friday) my friend gave me a 2 hour deep tissue massage (heavenly!) and that night I went out for dinner and bowling with some great girlfriends. The next day we went to two birthday parties. The morning one was our neighbor's petting zoo party. The kids had so much fun. Later that night Scott and I went to another friend's birthday party (pizza and volleyball). Sunday we celebrated my b-day with our adopted family here, the Aldrich family. Because Peggy and Jill were out of town we celebrated my birthday with them almost a week later. I am sad to see February go, but happy that my birthday was so great. Thanks to all my loved ones who remembered my birthday, via phone calls, texts, facebook, etc. It was fabulous and I felt very loved all week long.

Stake Women's Conference

2010-02-21T07:51:00.008-07:00

Saturday we had a Stake Women's Conference. It was wonderful. I went to three great classes: surviving/loving motherhood, strengthening and maintaining your testimony, and women are extraordinary. The classes were uplifting and rejuvenating. One statement from the motherhood class has stayed with me: you may not be a perfect mother, but you are the perfect mother for your family. The class on testimony put the importance of maintenance in perspective by comparing it to car maintenance. We may do okay for awhile without taking care of the car, but one day when we expect the car to work for us, just like it usually does, we will find that our neglect has caught up to us. We can't let our testimonies fall by the wayside. In the extraordinary class we had to write three things that made us as individuals extraordinary. I encourage whoever reads this to do the same! We all wrote completely different reasons, but it was great to write it down and feel unique.
I left the conference feeling so happy and refreshed. I felt excited about all that my life entailed. I have a great life but sometimes caring for little ones can be a challenge. Those few hours were exactly what I needed and I really appreciate the women who put such a great conference together. A lot of women left encouraged and full of the Spirit; I saw it on their faces and I know my family saw it on my face when I returned home happy to be with them again.

Landon is walking!

2010-02-12T16:19:00.008-07:00

always very creative with her poses

future gamer on the loose!

Landon is walking. Yippee!

I asked Myles what he was doing and he said,
"Just resting on the floor." So crazy!

My little diva

Myles' field trip to the fire station

Landon likes to play in the armoire

Landon is walking and we love it. He holds his hands up, as if to say, "Stop, don't shoot!" He got sick this past week with croup. He is feeling better but seems to have forgotten how to sleep through the night. He has been waking up the past several mornings at 4. We go in once to make sure he's not sick or peed on, give him the pacifier and let him cry it out. Sometimes it only takes an hour, other times an hour and a half. The main problem with this (besides how annoying it is to us) is that Myles wakes up and can't go back to sleep. This makes my sleep anxiety worse. So I am awake between 4 and 5:30, then dead tired the rest of the day. And I refuse to go to bed at 8 just to get some decent sleep to start the day at 4. That is madness!
Bailey had her Valentine's Day party at school and I got to help. 2nd graders are so much fun. We had a chocolate fondue table and needless to say, I had a lot of chocolate. Too much. I didn't even enjoy it toward the end. I have no self-control when it comes to chocolate.
Myles' new favorite show is "Dinosaur Train." He loves learning about dinosaurs and fossils. His favorite fact to share is that "poop can be fossils, too!" He repeats it all day long with such excitement. Today was his first trip to the dentist. He was so mellow and cooperative. He was an angel, so polite and entertaining. When it was time to go the hygienist asked him what we were going to do with the rest of our day. He replied: "Go brush my teeth!" What a doll.
Well, I didn't get a babysitter soon enough so our hot, romantic weekend will involve kids and pizza, errands and the park. After the kids are down we'll have to get creative. It will be nice just to be together. I'm hoping Landon relearns the benefits and joys of sleeping through the night soon. He has never been a good sleeper and I hope this isn't an issue we are going to have for the next 17 years.

Numb foot

2010-02-04T12:50:00.002-07:00

The physical therapist has allowed me to run 1 mile/day, three times this week. I did it today and my foot has been numb off and on all day. I am really reconsidering this running obsession. I love to run and I miss it. But I don't know if it is worth the stretching 3x/day or the physical therapy twice a week. Stretching takes up 2 hours of my day and I don't see any improvement. I miss being able to wake up and go for a run. Will that ever happen again? It seems like the more we do at physical therapy, the more we find wrong with my leg. Did I really run a marathon and now I can't even do a mile without repercussion? Frustrating!

2010-01-27T11:12:00.002-07:00

Not much to talk about. I just came across this video Scott took of me cutting Landon's nails. He was in a goofy mood (Landon, not Scott) and I love his laugh. Very few things compare to the pure joy of a baby's laugh. Enjoy!

2010-01-22T15:41:00.002-07:00

My little Landon is starting to walk! He is right on schedule (14 months) with his siblings. He is the cutest frankenstein when he walks. When he gets going too fast he goes sideways. He is so full of energy! He is either really happy or really angry. He isn't mellow much, but he can entertain himself, which I appreciate. He still takes two naps and is determined to keep up with Bailey and Myles.

Bailey is enjoying 2nd grade. She loves to herd her brothers around and ride her bike. When she puts her mind to something, nothing can stop her. She is talking about donating her hair again. She tried another synchronized swimming class and really enjoyed it. She has a hard time committing to anything. She talks about taking dance again but loses interest. I hope to find something she just loves and will be passionate about.

Myles is talking a lot and has grown so much. He is tall and slim, a first for him. He loves preschool and is adjusting well to being a Sunbeam at church. He is such a sweetheart. He randomly hugs me and says, "I just love you so much, mommy." Boys are so sweet to their moms! Sometimes he really likes Landon and other times he doesn't. His newest love is Thomas the Tank Engine.

Scott is home by a decent hour now and I appreciate it. He is very busy with work and church. We had a week of rain and I have enjoyed it. We got more rain this week than all of last year combined. Flagstaff got 2 feet of snow. We need to head up there for sledding soon.

I have been doing physical therapy on my leg for almost two weeks. I have shin splints, which have caused the muscles to pull away from the bone. The muscles in my leg are compressing the main nerve that makes my foot go numb. I also have trigger points along my tibia that make my foot go numb. The doc says I won't be running for awhile. When he does give me the go-ahead, it will be for only 1/2 mile. That is only 4 minutes! 5 if I drag it out. I am really sad, but need to let my leg heal. I am definitely learning that I can't eat the way I did when I had those long Saturday runs! I'm trusting and being obedient so that I can one day find joy in running again.

2010-01-06T10:21:00.006-07:00

My kids on my suitcase before my trip to Utah

Janene, Keira, Liseth, me, Jessie, Heidi and Dustin

Heidi Merryweather Palmer

Bailey found my camera in my purse

I went to Utah for 23 hours December 19-20 for Heidi's wedding. Heidi is one of my mission companions and a very dear friend. She was the one who was with me when my dad died. We got to spend 6 months (1/3 of our missions) together. Not many people develop that kind of a relationship with someone and I am very grateful for her, that she was able to find the love of her life and that I could be at their wedding. I was also thrilled to see so many wonderful women from my mission. Where would I be without that time in Venezuela? It shaped my whole life and future. I am so blessed that I could go and serve.
We had a wonderful Christmas. Scott was able to stay home the entire week between Christmas and New Year's; it was nice to have him around. He has taken busy to a new level since September and we are thrilled that things are slowing down at work. This year was much better than last, when Landon was colicky and Scott was gone 100+ hours/week.
We spent New Year's at home with good friends. Winter break was fun with Bailey home. Toward the end she was restless and starting to take it out on her brothers. They still adore her, though. I tried running last week after the marathon and limped the rest of the day. My left foot/ankle is bad so I will go see a different doctor tomorrow. I'm bummed; I really miss running and know I need it. I'm praying for a speedy recovery. In the interim I bike, lift and try my hardest at yoga. I really hate yoga!
Life is good. I say that a lot, but I really mean it. I am truly blessed. Money is tight, but there is more to life than money. I made some resolutions that I will keep, mainly treating my little kids with more respect. I need them to keep me from focusing so much on myself. Fortunately they are each loud and let me know when I'm not fulfilling their needs. I have some bad habits to break this year. Here's to 2010! Hoping it is a great one for all of us.

My First Marathon

2009-12-16T09:45:00.007-07:00

The famous North Shore

Waikiki Sunset

Gorgeous Day at the Beach in Waikiki

Many people have asked about the marathon and I cannot do it justice with just a summary. If you want to hear, "It was rough but went well" then feel free to skip the long narration that follows.
Hawaii was amazing. I needed the break and truly appreciate the opportunity. I have said in previous posts that I know the Lord guided me to this path and despite the many challenges, I am grateful. The week before the marathon I did an 8 mile run which ended badly with excruciating pain in my left knee down to my ankle and foot. I limped home very worried and decided not to run until the marathon. I went to the chiropractor Wednesday night and she told me I needed to take three weeks off for my leg to recover. I reminded her the marathon was in 4 days. Her face went dead pan and simply said, "Do what you can then." I wanted to advise her to never become a motivational speaker but let it go.
The night before I left Scott and our friend, Steve, gave me a blessing. I was very stressed about my leg, worried about leaving my kids during such a busy time of year for Scott at work, feeling guilty about the time away, and saddened at the thought of having to walk the marathon. The blessing was exactly what I needed. In it I was promised that I would be able to relax and enjoy my trip, that I would do the best of my ability and be happy with the race. I just needed faith. (always)
Hawaii was more beautiful than I had imagined. A lot of it reminded me of Venezuela, especially as Kim and I rode the bus and saw houses all the way up the mountainside, the beautiful, friendly people and the lush green vegetation. We went to the beach but never got in; it's too cold when you're from Arizona! We went to the North Shore and saw the end of a surf competition; we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center and really enjoyed spending the day there learning about Samoa, New Zealand, Hawaii, Tahiti, Tonga and Fiji. The following video is from the Hawaiian island presentation. I could relax to this music all day.

We also went to Pearl Harbor which was very sobering. We got a few things at the Swap Meet and spent a lot of time walking around downtown Waikiki. Unfortunately, the first day I had an ingrown toenail (both sides of the nail) on the big toe on my left foot. I found a sweet woman at a nail salon who fixed it for me. That hurt horribly but was okay by race day. The day before the race I tried a brief two-mile run and the pain was back in my knee, ankle and foot. I was pretty worried about the marathon. I also got some bad blisters the day before the run. The night before the run I was up with some GI issues I attribute to the delicious Mexican food I had the day before. The bed was hard on my body so I was dealing with pain in both hips and hadn't slept too well since arriving. Keep in mind this all happened BEFORE the race! Needless to say, I was not feeling mentally or physically strong.
Sunday morning we woke up at 2:30, took the bus to the race start and stretched for the hour we had to wait. 30,000+ people were running/walking this marathon and it was a zoo. We took our place and were ready. The race began and immediately I felt slow and mentally unprepared. The mile markers seemed too far apart. It seemed to take forever just to get to mile 3 for the first water station. We were surrounded by so many people of all speeds it was hard to pass people. I really started praying about mile 9, which is when a huge hill hit. Kim and I were under the impression that there weren't any big hills, but this was Diamondhead mountain and there wasn't any other way around it. The Lord really helped me out during this race. When I needed something I would feel a small breeze or a great song would come on my Ipod. By mile 13 I was done. I'm ashamed to say that if I had been offered a half-marathon certificate I would have stopped right then. I needed strength I didn't think I had.
Something turned around, though, and by mile 18 I was ready to pick up the pace and finish this thing. Unfortunately, that 's when the GI troubles hit Kim. We lost about 40 minutes running/walking and finding port-a-potties. I can't believe how tough Kim is and was very impressed with the sheer determination I saw on her face. She finally convinced me to leave her at mile 23. I was to the point where if I stopped running one more time I would not start up again. I left her (which I still regret) only to hit the same hill as before. I braced myself to brave the uphill battle before me and then my Ipod died. This was when I needed music most! So I gritted my teeth and kept going. It was good for me to have to do this on my own. My knees felt like glass was shattering against them, my hip hurt even worse going uphill, my body was tired but I kept running. The final mile was dowhill-good for everything but my knees-and I was very happy to see the finish line. I crossed it 40 minutes after I wanted to and I felt disappointed.
Kim and I have analyzed this a lot. We're both thrilled with our accomplishment but want a redo. We know our potential and didn't quite reach it this time. I am at peace with it but want to prove to myself that I can do better. During the training and especially during the marathon I swore I wouldn't do this again, but I miss running. I have to take the next month off to recover but cannot wait to start again. I am doing a half-marathon in January. As soon as I can run again I think I'll start training for my nemesis: hills.

2009-12-04T20:18:00.003-07:00

We had a fabulous Thanksgiving with Scott's side who live about an hour away in several directions. We had 27 people come so I did two turkeys and they both turned out really well. We had plenty of food and a great time. I loved having it here and would definitely do it again.

December is already speeding by. I am happy to have our church progressive dinner (that I over see) done. This Sunday I teach the Relief Society lesson and then next Thursday I head to Hawaii. When I get home I turn around a few days later and head to Utah for my mission companion's wedding. Busy days! I am really excited to do this marathon. I am weary of training and ready to go back to running simply because I enjoy it. I must admit that I am grateful to have had this goal and feel so grateful for this talent I have discovered. We did 20 miles last week and I injured my left leg, knee and ankle. I have been seeing a chiropractor and I am amazed at how much better I feel. The pain is gone and my foot that has had the numbness is doing better.

Bailey had a fun holiday performance this week. They made Hannukah Menorah hats and danced around. It was cute. Bailey is a natural performer. Myles is a little whiny lately and we think he is hitting the terrible 3's a little late. He is still very sweet and very tender-hearted.

This is a video of Landon at physical therapy. He is wild and does not like to cooperate. I can't wait to be done taking him; it's far away, expensive and doesn't seem to be helping too much now that he is mobile. He is not quite walking but getting close. He is a happy baby and his looks are changing. He is losing the baby face and it makes me sad. I am so glad we survived the first year. I love sleeping again and am excited for all the changes we will see in him this next year.

2009-11-18T13:40:00.011-07:00

This was in the airport by my gate.
So cool!

Michelle and I in front of her lovely home

Veteran's Day at the park.
It was 93 and still hot!

For Myles' preschool we went to ride horses.
This was the only animal he would get on.

Myles followed Landon around on the trampoline
to make sure he didn't fall off. So sweet!

Myles wouldn't ride the horses but he loved
feeding them carrots and petting them

True to form, Landon loved the packaging
from his presents more than the actual toys inside

I had a wonderful time in Houston with Michelle. I was able to see my aunt, Shae (why didn't I take a picture with you woman?) who picked me up from the airport and we went to lunch. I am so glad I was able to see Shae without time constraints, busy schedules or my crazy kids. Texas is really pretty with the trees and I'm so glad I waited until this time of year to visit. The weather was fabulous. Michelle and I had a great time catching up; she is one of the sisters I am collecting along my path in this life. I just adore her.
Saturday we went for a run at a state park. There was a road in the middle of a forrest/swamp and it was heavenly. I could have run forever; we were shielded from the sun and humidity and the landscape was breathtaking. We also went to her ward's Super Saturday. Mostly we just enjoyed catching up and being together. I hope we can keep up this yearly tradition.
Yesterday Landon turned one. We had ice-cream, cake and a little party for him. He is such a fun baby; he is generally happy and laughs a lot. I love this age; I am finally getting caught up on sleep and he can entertain himself a lot more now. I have the best kids. I came home from my trip missing my husband and family. I also made some resolutions for myself (that I won't post because I don't want to feel like a failure if I don't follow through on all of them!). I missed my family so much that I am worried about being gone from them for 5 days when I head to Hawaii.
Life is zooming by. Three weeks from tomorrow we fly out and then three weeks from Sunday I run! Next week is Thanksgiving already. I can hardly wrap my head around the year 2010. I am hoping to be able to calmly (or at least, sanely) enjoy the holiday season. I LOVE Arizona wintertime. Nothing beats it. Come visit!

2009-11-12T07:16:00.005-07:00

Landon is always full of life

Myles can't leave his scabs alone so he always
looks like he's been in a car accident

Bailey is always ready for the camera

I finally figured out how to add a video. We took the kids to the playplace in the mall and had DQ blizzards (my favorite besides Cold Stone). Life has been good for all of us here. The kids are growing up too fast. Landon is pushing things around as he walks; my favorite is the laundry basket. Bailey is finally enjoying reading. She is too social to read during the day, but enjoys it at night when she should be sleeping. Myles is enjoying preschool and is such a sweet little boy. I have some really wonderful kids.
Tomorrow I head to Texas to see my friend, Michelle Mason. She came out last year to help when Landon was born. I can't believe he is almost one! I'm excited to see my aunt in Houston and to have the weekend with Michelle.
Last night I did some birthday and Christmas shopping. I've got my little family almost done. I cannot believe Christmas is almost here and then it will be 2010! The Honolulu marathon is only 31 days away. I am still running even though my left foot goes numb after mile 8. I don't have any pain so I don't think it is a stress fracture. Yesterday I did a personal best: 13 miles in 2 hours 2 minutes. It felt so great to run and I am anxiously awaiting the marathon.

2009-11-04T12:34:00.004-07:00

Looking at a Possible
Stress Fracture!!!!!

My doctor gave me two weeks to try running pain-free before he benches me. Please pray for me! I am hoping the new shoes, ibuprofen regimen, icing my foot and running less will keep me in the marathon. I really don't want to stop training....

2009-11-04T07:26:00.006-07:00

Even Scott and Myles were done by this point

The only way we could get Landon to sit still
was to allow the binky in the pictures.

My friend, Rebecca, took some family pics of us and I love them. The kids would not cooperate (now we know morning pics are better than afternoon) but the photos look good. Landon was not in the mood to smile and by the end, Scott and Myles weren't too thrilled, either. We haven't had any family photos taken since Landon was born. I can't believe he will be one in less than two weeks. I got really impatient and already turned his car seat around and started giving him whole milk. What a crazy year this has been. Scott is right, though; I don't really remember life without him. He is doing really well in physical therapy and is a pretty happy baby. Life has been pretty normal this week, except that I injured my ankle on my long run Saturday. Today I am going to see a specialist. I am nervous because the marathon is only 38 days away. We have our airfare, our hotel and the run paid for. I am hoping for good news today and a simple solution. Keeping fingers crossed and offering many prayers!

2009-10-27T16:43:00.015-07:00

We had a great visit with my mom. I got the painting bug in me (at what other point in time would I have such a great helper here?) so I did the family room orange. I've been wanting to redo the room for awhile. I had a yellow color picked out but saw so many orange walls in my friends' homes in Utah that I came home ready for orange. None of the pictures do it justice, but it looks really good; I love it. The fireplace is a butternut squash color; it looks so cool.
We kept really busy with Grandma here. We went to lunch, played at the park and enjoyed the helping hands. My stepdad, Bert, came for the last two days. We enjoyed having Bert here and getting to know him better; my kids loved having grandparents here to spoil them. We took them to the train park in Scottsdale. We were able to squeeze in some family photos just hours before their flight. Mom and Bert will be moving to London in two weeks and we will really miss them. Fortunately, my mom has a trip back to the states planned when my brother and sister-in-law welcome their first baby in January. We are also planning a trip to visit them in England next summer.
Saturday I ran 15 miles and it felt really good. I wanted to keep going but I had to get ready for family pics. I have been so blessed to not have any injuries and to be able to add the miles on that I need to in such a short amount of time. We got an amazing airfare to Hawaii ($325 rt) and my friend and I will be splitting the hotel ($170 each for 4 nights!). 46 days until the marathon and I am getting really excited. It is finally starting to feel real. This Saturday I will do 17 miles and the next will be 19. After that, the rest is just conditioning. Mental stamina is what I really need. So exciting!

2009-10-23T08:37:00.007-07:00

We got a great deal on airfare ($120 roundtrip!) and flew to Utah for fall break. I have missed my siblings and we had so many babies to see. My sister had McKinley in August; Tyler and Shelley welcomed Madden in August; 4 cousins had babies from June to October. We also had to introduce Landon to everyone. We missed seeing Tyler, who was traveling for work, but I was very grateful to Todd and Tess who came to see us almost every day. We had a fabulous trip. We were on the go the entire time. My camera battery died the first day so I don't have many pictures. I'll just have to wait until family and friends forward them, hint, hint!
Our first day my mom's parents orchestrated a big family get together after having dinner with just my siblings and us. My grandpa and Landon had a sweet bond from the start. We loved seeing everyone. The next day I got to go to lunch with a friend from Kaysville and then we went to see Heidi (mission companion) and meet Dustin, her fiancee. We had a great time with Liseth, our favorite ward missionary from Venezuela and her son, Sebastian.
Wednesday was busy, starting with a run in the rain with Stephanie from Kaysville and ending with an Hermana reunion with 6 of us from the mission. We had so much fun reminiscing and seeing how much we have all changed over the past 10 years. Thursday we went down and met my friend, Renee, from high school for lunch. We spent the rest of the day in Lindon with my dad's parents and Arycca and her family. The next day we visited Provo and BYU campus. The kids weren't as enthralled by the trip down memory lane as we were. It was so beautiful with the fall colors and the crisp air. Saturday we went to temple square to see Todd and Tess one last time. I was cold the first part of the trip but the weather was perfect the last two days.
Our trip was short and sweet; it was exactly what we needed and I am truly grateful for all the great people in our life. I will always hold a special place in my heart for Utah and our time there. That said, I still LOVE living in Arizona and appreciate our life here.

2009-09-30T15:26:00.006-07:00

My little fashionista, Bailey, has been branching out. I love the scarf look and she is finally letting me do her hair again (after 18 months). She has the best hair and the color is to die for. I love having a 7-year-old. She is a sweetheart with her brothers and a great girl. One of my friends told me that Bailey stood up to some older girls who were bullying her daughter at recess. I was so proud of my little spitfire! She still has tons of energy and likes to be in charge, but she is learning about delayed gratification (at least as well as can be expected) and she is doing great in 2nd grade. I just love having her as my daughter.
We went to the Mesa temple for Family Home Evening last week. My kids love going to the temple and to the Visitor's Center. I love how close we are to the temple and am grateful we will have a new temple in Gilbert in a few years. I am excited for my kids to go to the open house and see inside.
I did a 10K with my friend, Marci, in July and then did another one a few weeks ago with my friend, Kim. In July, I had to stop and walk off and on because I hadn't run more than three miles ever. I ran the whole time in the last 10K. I never thought I would be one to love running, but I do. I love it and I love how alive I feel inside after a good run. After Landon I got post-partum depression (I had it after Myles, too, but thought I might be able to avoid it this time). It has been a rough 10 months. I love my little Landon and am grateful to be a wife and mother, but I have not felt like myself since he was born. Running has helped pull me out of the downward spiral and I'm grateful for good friends who simply invited me to run with them.
Kim is running a marathon in Hawaii December 13th and I am going to run it, too. I never thought I would be one to do a marathon, but I've got the bug. I can't wait to go and do this! I'm already planning a 1/2 marathon with Marci in January, too. Our bodies are amazing. I have progressed from barely being able to run for 1/2 hour in July to running 9 miles last Saturday. I am honestly impressed at how quickly our bodies respond to being challenged. Conversely, when we don't exercise we lose our fitness levels rapidly. Of course there are spiritual applications to this. I'll spare the sermon, but am truly grateful for a wonderful Heavenly Father who loves us more than we may ever know and who places people in our paths who inspire and lift us. Running has been just what I needed, but I never would have realized it without good friends who believed more in me than I did and who were willing to wait for me to catch up to them.

2009-09-15T10:42:00.007-07:00

B before school one day
I still remember wearing vests; can't believe they're back

My sweet chubby Landon

Potty-training SUCKS right now

Bailey is always posing

Landon likes to climb under the chair and
then screams when he is tired of being stuck

Look at how dark Landon is next to Myles!

I don't have much to report right now. Life is good. Landon is still doing physical therapy and seems to be slowly improving. Myles is not improving in potty-training. As long as I make him pee every hour, we're good. I won't discuss how abysmal the #2 training is. Myles enjoys preschool on Tues/Thurs afternoons and it works out perfectly: he goes to preschool and Landon and I get groceries or go to lunch with friends. Bailey is doing great in school. We love her teacher and she is excelling in math and science. Scott is still beyond busy with work, church and family. We are grateful to be close to his mom and sister; I'm always humbled that he can worthily provide them with guidance, support or priesthood blessings when they need it. He is such a great man and I am blessed to have him. I have been so blessed in my life and although the day-to-day necesseties can be mundane, I try to slow down and enjoy my kids. I am already saddened by the thought that one day they will be gone. Each of my kids is so strong-willed and independent that they will want the day to come soon and I will be the one who can't let go. Breathe in, breathe out. Worry about the present and let the Lord take care of the future. I'm trying to be more easy-going, but it's a slow process for me.

Prescott Pics

2009-09-09T20:30:00.006-07:00

2009-09-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful Labor Day weekend in Prescott, Az. This was our only real vacation this summer and it was nice and relaxing. The weather was perfect; we enjoyed cooler temps than we have seen in several months. The kids enjoyed playing outside in the rain and getting dirty. Landon slept really well. My friend and I ran a 10K and then met the families for breakfast and a parade. We went to the art festival in downtown Prescott Sunday and Monday. I mostly enjoyed having my little family to myself; my phone died Friday and I didn't charge it or even look at it until Monday when it was time to head home.

Rough Day

2009-08-26T20:06:00.005-07:00

Yesterday was a really rough day. Both of my boys get bronchiolitis when they get any kind of congestion; basically they wheeze and we use breathing treatments every four hours for a week until they get better. Their breathing isn't too labored, but they don't sound very good. Landon has been wheezing since Sunday so I took him in to the Dr. yesterday. The nurse practitioner checked his oxygen level and it was 99% so he was getting oxygen despite the wheezing. I assumed she would tell me to continue the breathing treatments at home every four hours for the next week. This is the same procedure with each boy every time either one gets a cold and it goes straight to his lungs. I was very surprised when she told me I needed to take Landon to the E.R. immediately. I asked a lot of questions, mainly, “Why am I taking him to the E.R.? Is it really that serious? What am I supposed to say when they ask why I am there? Are you sure I need to go to the E.R.” She told me that he needed to be supervised for the next few hours because his heart rate was elevated and his ribs were pulling in when he breathed. I left very annoyed because in my heart I knew he did not need to go to the E.R. I knew he was not in any distress and that I was about to waste my entire afternoon (and not to mention a hefty $150 E.R. Copay) for nothing. I knew the doctors and nurses we encountered would ask me why I was there and that he was doing pretty well for having bronchiolitis.

So WHY did I do it? I went because the previous night I had a very real and very horrible dream that Landon died. In my dream he died and I could not stop crying. My entire extended family was in my dream feeling sorry for me and no matter how hard I tried I could not stop crying.

I went to the E.R. and it was exactly as I knew it would be. I wasted 3 hours (when Landon could and should have been home sleeping) and each doctor and nurse asked me why my doctor told me to take him to the E.R. His x-rays of his lungs showed that he did not have pneumonia and that he had bronchiolitis. What a surprise! I was so angry at myself for wasting my time and our money and not trusting myself. I was also angry at my subconscious for that horrible dream. I certainly have that fear that one of my kids is going to die. My father-in-law is buried in a beautiful cemetery; I got a sick feeling when we drove by the children's section of the cemetery. I certainly worry that one of my kids is going to be buried there.

I am also angry at the nurse practitioner for her ridiculous suggestion, but if I had not gone and something had happened to Landon, I never would have been able to forgive myself. Needless to say, I will be switching doctors.

2009-08-21T10:41:00.004-07:00

Scott calls Landon, "Malibu Ken" because he is
so tan compared to B and Myles

Bailey and her friend, Sarah

my cute boys

Here are the kiddos as we walk Bailey to school. Landon is so tan compared to B and Myles. This past week has gone by so quickly. Bailey is loving school. Myles still asks about preschool; unfortunately it doesn't start until September 1st. We have been swimming in the afternoons. The weather has been so nice lately (105 is much better than 110+) and I went jogging the other morning. It was so refreshing. I'm trying to get ready for the 10K I am running in two weeks in Prescott. We are headed up for Labor Day weekend to the mountains and cooler air. We are renting a cabin with friends and I can't wait.
My sister had her baby on Sunday. McKinley was 9 lbs and 11 days overdue. My poor sister seems to be following in my footsteps with kids who like to overstay their welcome. Tyler and his wife welcomed a son, Madden on Arycca's due date, August 6th. In July Scott's little sister had a baby girl, Ruby on July 6th and Scott's brother and his wife welcomed Violet July 28th. So many babies in just 6 weeks. I'm so glad to not be pregnant! Landon is starting to sleep really well and with his physical therapy we are keeping busy with our newborn. Life is good and I am looking forward to another great weekend.

2009-08-13T18:41:00.005-07:00

Landon still tilts his head to the left

Myles actually fell asleep in front of a movie

a typical morning before walking B to school

Here is an update on the past three weeks: Scott and I had our first overnighter without kids in 5 years! It was wonderful and we are so grateful to have good friends who made it possible for us. We went the day before his birthday and stayed at a nice resort in Scottsdale; we slept in, we ate out, we went swimming, went to the movies and got Scott a nice stereo addition that enables him to use his Iphone while he drives his hour to and from work each day for our little family. I will speak for him and say that this was his best birthday in a long time. I missed my kids, but not as much as I thought I would.
The next weekend Scott and his friend, Steve, went to L.A. for a mancation. They saw a Dodgers' game, an Angels' game and the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes play. It was all baseball all weekend and when he told me the Dodgers' game went into the 12th inning, I was so glad I wasn't there. We missed him, but the kids were much better behaved than I expected. I also have good friends who helped entertain us. He came back so happy that I think this will become a yearly event. He needed this weekend and I'm so glad he got to go.
Bailey started 2nd grade on Monday. She loves her teacher and comes home very happy. She needs to be busy and school is so good for her. I have enjoyed a little more downtime with the boys. Our summer was a constant, "go, go, go!"; staying home has been a nice change of pace.
Bailey has been teaching herself songs on the piano by ear! Her latest is a birthday song the primary sings at church. I'm very impressed and wish she would consent to taking lessons. She claims she already knows how to play. Myles was playing with some toys and when Scott asked what their names were he said, "Joseph Smith and Joseph Smith." Adorable. Landon is one happy baby. My boys may have rough starts, but they blossom into happy little guys. Landon is trying to crawl; it's more of a cycle from sitting position to lunge and back to sitting, but he gets around. His physical therapy is really helping and we are seeing noticable differences.
Life is so great. I cannot complain. My kids are happy, I have a great husband, and we are all healthy and strong. We have "sufficient for our needs" and pretty soon the weather will cool down (I hope!). Life is really good.

2009-07-24T09:36:00.004-07:00

So, I missed Bailey's swim finals because I was at Wicked. She took 6th place but did not make it to regionals. Bailey had a great first year and we are so proud of her. We are so impressed that she made it as far as she did. She has always been a fish in the water and she's learning to focus that talent on the different swim strokes. She is so cute and such a great girl. She has tons of energy, loves to help with Landon and tease Myles. School starts two weeks from Monday and I will be sad to have her gone in the daytime. Love you, girlie!

2009-07-22T13:32:00.003-07:00

Wicked was so great. I loved every minute of it and am already planning to see it again next year. How I would love a girls' trip to NYC to see it. I still have the music in my head and want to get the CD. I could not spend the $39 for a t-shirt (extortion!) but might buy one next time. I highly recommend this to anyone. I think even Scott, the anti-musical man, would have had fun. Thanks for the great birthday gift, love!

2009-07-21T15:54:00.006-07:00

Tonight is Bailey's swim finals. We are so excited for her; she is one of 16 kids in her age group out of all of Mesa to make it this far. She will be competing in the butterfly stroke. I am so glad she is enjoying swim team so much. We are also looking into her newest love, synchronized swimming. I will have to miss watching her compete tonight because I am off to see Wicked! I have been waiting for this since February; Scott got me a ticket for my birthday and I am headed out with some good friends.

I have so much to catch up on these past three weeks. Most recently we went up to Show Low with some good friends, Marci and Carlos, to her parents' cabin. The kids had fun and it was a nice change of scenery. At the last minute Marci and I decided to do a 10k run. It was a beautiful make-shift path throughout the neighborhood surrounding the Snowflake Temple and the golf course. The course doubled back several times and the spray-painted arrows were worn off by the time we got to them, but it felt good to be in the cool air running. It was only 68 degrees that morning. I don't think Mesa will see temps that low until the end of October (at the earliest). We also enjoyed the Pioneer Days parade; most of the floats were spaceships (modern-day pioneers) and the kids enjoyed the free candy and horses. We went to a rodeo (my first!) and the kids got to chase a chicken around. The bull riders were impressive and we had a good time that night.
The summer has flown by. I am in a boot camp that I love. My friend and I got a screaming deal for the month of July. I am definitely pushing myself harder there than I would at home. I am also planning a trip with some friends to Prescott to do another 10k at the end of August. We'll bring our families and enjoy getting out of the heat, watching another small town parade and hiking in the beautiful mountains. I didn't realize how beautiful Arizona was before moving here.
In three weeks Bailey will be back in school and Myles will be continuing preschool. We are very excited to head to Utah for Bailey's fall break, October 12th - 17th. I have a niece and a nephew to meet and four of my cousins will have had new babies by then.
Next Thursday Scott and I are going away as an early anniversary celebration. I cannot believe it's been 8 years. What a wonderful life we have together. So, we are going away for 24 hours and I am really looking forward to it. We haven't been away from our kids in 5 years so we are due!

2009-07-01T10:43:00.006-07:00

We have had some fun times lately. Bailey turned 7 and grew up all of a sudden. All she wanted to do for her birthday was do lunch and shopping with Grandma Peggy. She had a great day and said, "Grandma spoils me." Bailey also wanted to get her nails done so she used her birthday money to get acrylic nails. When she realized she couldn't suck her thumb, she immediately wanted to take them off. I was hoping this would be a good incentive to break her habit, but she chewed her thumb nail off instead. The rest of the nails were off within a week. She was quite the diva while they lasted. Bailey is so creative and fun.
This past weekend we had my friend's two kids while she and her husband went to San Francisco. Her kids are 9 and 12; I got a little taste of what it is like having 5 kids. We were definitely busy, but I enjoyed having older kids to help and something was always going on. Our house feels a bit empty now that they are gone. When I wean Landon in a few months they'll take our kids for a few days. We definitely got the better end of this deal!
I am really excited for the 4th of July, especially as I see how crazy our country is becoming. For now, we are the most blessed of all the nations on the earth. I have lived in Venezuela and have seen true poverty. I listen to the news of people being killed because they want their vote to be counted. We have true freedom here and I am grateful for that. I celebrate the United States as it once was and the potential that we still have to be a great nation.

Barber Birthday Bash

2009-06-15T08:49:00.010-07:00

We had a great time at the birthday party for Bailey and Myles on Saturday. We had it at one of the public pools and were able to have so many of our friends and family there; we had delicious Costco cake and froze in the pool. (It was only 95 that day. Ha!)
Last Sunday Scott and I spoke in church. Usually, we are really good at getting to church 10 minutes early, but the day that it mattered most, the day I needed to be sitting on the stand bright and early, Landon puked carrot puree all over my white shirt as I was walking out the door. Our talks went well. I really enjoyed the preparation and once I got started, didn't mind the actual delivery. Scott and I also enjoyed the serenity of being up on the stand together without the kids.
Bailey had her first swim meet last Thursday night. She did so well. I am so impressed by her natural talent in the water. She has the speed and the endurance to do well, if only she could decide if she wanted it badly enough or not. Tonight was the second swim meet and she didn't want to go, but ended up enjoying it by the end. She is taking a free synchronized swimming class on Saturday. This could be a good fit since she is a dancer at heart, but is also very much a fish. She is so wonderful and a great help with the boys.
Myles started potty-training last week. He did really well as long as he was home, hanging out near the little potty and he didn't have anything on. He isn't so great with the underwear, confusing it with a diaper. I don't have the patience to continue with it right now. It's obvious that he isn't ready yet and with our busy summer schedule, I am unwilling to dedicate a full week to being homebound. I think I'll start up again when Bailey goes to school. For now, Myles is loving preschool and I am loving the break on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.
For all intents and purposes, Landon is sleeping through the night. He still wakes up about 4 and moans for an hour, but we turn on a loud fan and tune him out. I am so ready to sleep through the night without interruptions. He is adamant about not cooperating with the physical therapy and stresses me out. I think he is improving, but minutely.
Scott and I are hoping to get away for a night or two soon. We haven't been away from our kids since B was 2; it's not that we haven't wanted to, we just haven't had people willing to take them off our hands. Now we have some dear friends who have offered and we are taking them up on it. The only hangup is that Landon won't take a bottle. Once we get that conquered, we're outta here!

2009-06-07T16:05:00.006-07:00

Just loving my family today. Life is so good!

2009-05-31T15:38:00.002-07:00

Yesterday we had a family swim day. Landon took a much-needed nap while we played with Bailey and Myles. Scott and I took turns sitting in the sun by our sleeping baby while the other froze in the water. I never thought I would be excited for temps above 105, but bring on the heat! We also had a papa john's pizza for $1.08, thanks to a fun promotion for Az residents.
Bailey decided she wanted to swim some laps to prepare for swim team, which starts on Monday. She kept going and going, swimming 16 laps before it was time to go. She and I are both so excited for her to do swim team. She has always loved swimming and it comes naturally to her. Fortunately this is a great climate for swimming!
Myles has been fearful of the water this year. Yesterday he got brave and actually put his face in the water, but mostly he sticks to the shallow end. The pool we go to most has beach entry which is perfect for him. He is a smarty-pants; Myles finds shapes and letters in anything and can spell his name. He starts a summer preschool program on Tuesdays and Thursdays during June and July. He is quite social and I'm hoping being around older kids will help him take a little more interest in the potty.
Landon has not improved much in the sleeping arena, nor has he warmed up to his physical therapy requirements. He is incredibly strong and I can no longer keep him in the right position to stretch his neck unless I am carrying him and have gravity on my side. Last night I was out late with friends and decided to preemptively feed him so that I could get a longer stretch. He generally will sleep 7-8 hours and then eat every two hours the rest of the night/day. I woke him up at 11, fed him and slept until 4; after giving him the pacifier, he went back to sleep until 6. I haven't had more than 4 hours sleep (uninterrupted) in a long time. I am going to try this new approach for awhile because, as we all know, I need my sleep!

2009-05-24T19:56:00.003-07:00

Bailey and I went on a mother/daughter date yesterday. It was so much fun to spend time with just her. We don't get to do that very often. I am grateful that Scott took the boys. Very rarely do I get to relax with Bailey and I regret that. Between Landon's total newborn dependence and Myles' recent inclination toward melt-downs, Bailey sees a stressed-out mom a lot of the time. She is such a fun girl. We went to a nearby water park and had a blast. I let her lead me. We went in the lazy river, down the waterslides and over to the lap pool. Then I watched her on the diving board, we got snacks and did it all over again. I have acclimmated to Mesa because it was 90 degrees and I was freezing. The water was so cold. I was a good sport for about an hour and a half, but after that I was more of a spectator than a participant. I commiserated with the other cold moms. People really don't swim if the weather is less than 100 degrees here and now I know why!
I love my Bailey and am so glad I could spend that time with her. I was able to enjoy her and give her the endless attention she craves. She is a happy girl with a lot of energy. I was really proud of her for trying the red slide. She has been afraid of it because it was dark inside, but after seeing me go down a few times, she tried it and loved it. I am so glad she was willing to try something new. I have noticed she sometimes holds herself back because of fear. I hope to be able to build her confidence up so she will be more comfortable trying new things. When I see my bad traits in her I want to jump in and spare her those lessons. I want her to be better than I am but need to step back and let her be her. That is hard for me to do but I am working on it. She is worth all my efforts to be a better mom and I am thankful that the Lord sent her to me.

2009-05-14T18:14:00.008-07:00

I have to talk about my day on Tuesday because it was frustrating and wonderful all at once. I took Landon to physical therapy; this is about 25 minutes from our house and close to the Mesa temple. Afterward I had to exchange some garments at the distribution center and Myles wanted to see the temple. Unfortunately, I locked my keys in the car at the distribution center and had carried Landon in so I didn't have a car seat for him. I have great friends who rallied together to come get me after we sought out another infant seat to bring for Landon. Myles and Landon and I walked over to the temple while we were waiting for our rescue team. It was a hot day to be walking (it's been hovering around 100 for two weeks), but as we got to the temple I felt a light breeze and knew it was a sweet reminder from Heavenly Father that even in rough moments life is good. I also had a thought that when things are going really badly, get to the temple and it will be okay. I just love the temple and miss being able to go as often as before my little people came into my life. It is even more of a sanctuary for me now!
Next Thursday is Bailey's last day of school. I am so ready for summer and am excited to swim and play with my kids. I can hardly believe that June is almost here and that she will be a 2nd grader. We have been swimming a few times with friends. Bailey has always been a strong swimmer and I am looking forward to her being on a swim team. That will wear her out big time! Myles has decided that he is afraid of the water this year and I don't mind it because he sits on the steps and plays about waist-deep. That makes it easier to watch him while I am holding Landon. My little guy loves the water so much. The second his feet touch water he's kicking and wiggling around. I was worried about him fitting into our summer agenda of swimming and napping, but it looks like he is falling in line quite nicely. I look forward to fun times this summer with my kids and friends.

2009-04-28T19:29:00.002-07:00

Scott and I have been attending the "Strengthening Family" course that the church offers. I love it and am learning so much. Who knew that remaining calm when my kids beat each other (and other kids) up would work so well? Actually, I have changed some bad habits (like my SARCASTIC remarks) and my kids are responding well. I am so excited to be a better parent. When Scott and I took the marriage course last year it was just nice to have a set date night that was cheap. We learned a lot, but I also tried to apply the communication and anger management part to my relationship with Bailey. I am grateful for this class because I need to manage my three kids better. I love learning new and improved ways of doing things. I can't wait to be better and am already enjoying my kids so much more and it's only been two classes. The possibilities are endless. ;)

2009-04-13T15:18:00.006-07:00

my new kitchen sink!

Loving those sweet potatoes

future sportscaster or telemarketer?

Bailey is trotting like a horse, her favorite animal

I am a spoiled lady. I got my mother's day gift a month early; Scott and a friend installed a new kitchen sink and faucet for me. I cannot say how much I LOVE how it changes our whole kitchen. We had an old stainless steel sink that was 6.5 inches deep and I could never get it clean no matter how hard I tried. This new sink is fabulous; I love having one tub, it is 9 inches deep and a charcoal- colored composite granite that matches our black appliances. No matter how many dishes you put in the sink, you can't tell anything is in there, whereas with the old sink one glass in it looked like you hadn't done dishes in days.
I also got a massage Thursday night. A woman in our ward comes to your home with her massage table and then you fall asleep as soon as you are done. It felt so nice to destress. My neck, shoulders, wrists, hands, and back have been aching since I've had to carry Landon around in different positions to try to stretch his neck out. The massage was heaven; if only I could fit that into the budget once a week...
We had a great Easter with Scott's family that live an hour away. His aunt and uncle always make Easter fun for the kids. They have color-coded Easter egg hunts. Myles was actually getting into it this year. With each blue egg he would yell, "Look, I found!" I don't know if he meant "look at what I found" or "look, I found it" but it was cute. Bailey had a great time with her second cousin, Anna. Landon was a hit; he's so cuddly and sweet. He has been going down for naps a lot better lately and is much happier when he is well-rested, but aren't we all? My kids are so wonderful. Each is so different but so full of personality. Bailey is really ready for summer. She is counting down the days.
Last week we had Justin, Judy and Alan come to visit; I used to watch Justin when he and Bailey were newborns. They spent the first three years together like twins and it is fun to see them still have a great time together. We went swimming in their heated pool at the hotel. It was 93 out and we were COLD! I guess we have acclimated because the "natives" don't swim unless it is 100+ out. Landon loved the water. I am getting excited to spend the summer swimming with my cute kids.

2009-04-07T14:56:00.003-07:00

My little Landon has stopped sleeping well (okay, he never really slept well, but he did sleep 8 or 9 hours straight for a week). He is chunky but still thinks he's constantly starving. Whenever the person holding him has food or takes a drink, he reaches out for it. Yesterday I gave him baby food and he devoured the jar of carrots. It was so fun to feed him; it didn't help him sleep any better at night, but I've given up on that for awhile. In our 8 hours of "sleep" Scott and I added up that Landon either cried or moaned for 4 hours one night. It's obvious that "crying it out" isn't working.
Today I took Landon to be evaluated by a pediatric physical therapist. When my mom was here she showed us that he always tilts his head to the left. The therapist confirmed that he has torticollis, which means that one major neck muscle is shorter on one side. Unfortunately this will entail 6 months of therapy and lots of daily stretching with him at home. Don't even get me started on how much money this will cost us, especially since health benefits have been cut back due to the recession. As Scott so wisely pointed out, "Time for you to grow, I guess." With any new trial I am quick to ask: What am I supposed to learn? I want to learn it and move on. The Lord has a different plan for me this time. I have always been fearful of having a special needs child, mainly because I like being a mom but I also like my "me" time. (**I am definitely NOT comparing this temporary condition to what any of my friends go through with their kids who actually do have special needs**) I already feel like I am barely keeping my head above water with all that is required of me. I am generally three days behind in any given area of my life. I feel like I could be a good mom to any one of my kids, but right now I am a poor mom to all three. On the plus side, Myles is taking a nap in his big boy bed right now, I am adjusting to life without REM sleep and my marriage is stronger than it has ever been. I never lose sight of how blessed I truly am, but I am always surprised by how selfish I can be when more is required of me than I am willing to give. I miss how nice my life was with just two kids. I miss sleeping through the night. I miss relaxing with Scott. I miss my brain working at full speed. You certainly love those you serve and right now Landon needs a lot of my love. I am excited to do this for him because it will make a big difference in his life and I have a lot to learn through the process.

2009-04-02T09:41:00.005-07:00

On March 27th we marked the 10 year mark of losing my dad. I never forget the date. Every time the clock says 3:27 I think of my dad. Lately, though, I only know what day of the week it is (I still can't believe it's April) and I kept forgetting that Friday was the 27th. I wasn't as sad as I thought I would be. Life moves on because it has to. This is the Lord's plan and so I trust it. I miss my dad every day, especially as I think about how different my life is now. I have a wonderful husband and three kids that don't know my dad. When I see my friend's kids with their grandpa I get a little jealous because my kids don't have that. However, they have two devoted grandmas and 5 great-grandparents who adore them. I look forward to having time with my dad in the next life to get reacquainted and to share our life stories. There is a lot that I don't know about my dad and vice-versa. I know the Lord has more than made up for the fact that my dad passed away. I am surrounded by friends and family who love me. I would be a brat to not appreciate that and to know from what Source it all comes. I miss my dad, but feel him near. I'm so thankful for the gospel and the eternal perspective it gives me.

2009-03-28T19:25:00.006-07:00

This past week has been the pits! I had the stomach flu last weekend and it took me a few days to get over that. Starting Monday Landon decided to stop sleeping well and began waking up every couple of hours all night long. He wasn't hungry, just forgot how to sleep and wanted Mom to hold him. Well, I love my kids and don't mind holding them during the day, but I need my sleep! I need more than a three hour stretch at a time to be a nice mommy. We began letting Landon cry it out. It has been horrible. The first two nights of that he would cry for at least 1/2 hour and then do it again two hours later. Then he began sleeping well until 2am and then waking up every two hours after that. I try so hard to be asleep by 10 but even then I only get four full hours. After that I have a very hard time going back to sleep. Next thing I know, it's time to get up and get Bailey to school.
We got Myles a toddler bed; my friend was selling hers and we got the bed, mattress and mattress pad for only $20. Thanks, Valerie! Myles does well at night, but has stopped napping now that he discovered his newfound freedom. I take out all toys and books but he still finds something to play with. One time he was examining his humidifier for entertainment. He never leaves his room, but he'll knock on the door, or yell or kick his closet doors. I am not giving in, though. He is a bear without sleep and once the novelty wears off he will nap again. (I hope and pray, at least!) He's been going to bed before 7 because I can't stand him anymore. I miss my happy, easy-going little buddy. I hope we find him again soon.
However, last night we had a breakthrough with Landon! He went to bed at 7pm and Scott and I had our first real date without any kids. It was fabulous. We had DQ blizzards and went window shopping. We spent about $2200 in our heads; I love that. Anyway, Landon slept until 4am! He ate really well and then went right back to sleep until 7. Bless this child. I really do love my kids so much more when they sleep. I admit, my love is conditional at times.

Las Vegas

2009-03-17T16:28:00.003-07:00

We went to Las Vegas last weekend. My grandparents were there for the college basketball championships and invited us to stay with them in their timeshare. The kids were so good in the car. I sat by Landon most of the way but it helped. He didn't cry unless he was hungry. I really don't enjoy being cooped up in the car, but my kids were great so I can't complain.
I don't enjoy the Vegas atmosphere and we avoided the strip completely. Friday night we went to dinner with Jennifer, a friend from high school and her husband. They live in northwest Vegas; I think most of Vegas is pretty ugly but where they live reminded me of Mesa. On Saturday we spent the morning with my grandma and grandpa. That afternoon we went to see Megan, one of my mission companions who also lives in Vegas. She and I ran over to the Las Vegas temple to see a friend from our mission who had just gotten married. It was so great to see her so happy. Scott took the kids to a great park and they played hard. That night we went back to Megan's house for dinner.
Sunday we spent some more time with my grandparents before they went home. We went to church with Jennifer and then had an early dinner at her home. Landon didn't sleep very well on the trip so we decided to come home Sunday night instead of Monday morning. The kids were exhausted and actually slept in the car! We didn't get home until midnight and although I am exhausted, I am so glad we went. It was really nice to see family and friends. It's nice to remember different periods of my life and see that I still am the same fun person that I used to be before kids and sleep deprivation. I love my life now and wouldn't change anything, but it is nice to know that I won't always be this worn out!
*Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2009-03-09T15:45:00.005-07:00

Saturday was such a wonderful day for me. I was able to fit so much into my day; I love days like that. Besides feeding Landon every two hours, I got up, worked out and showered by 9 (a major feat for me). I went to the temple to do initiatories. I was so humbled when I got to do them in Spanish. I got really emotional listening to the Lord's blessings in Spanish and it made me pay attention more. I felt so blessed and grateful that I speak Spanish.
I got home, cleaned up the whole house and even mopped my kitchen floor. Before Landon I did that once a week; I won't even say how rarely it gets mopped lately. We went to the park with Scott's mom for a picnic lunch. The weather was so perfect; it was in the low 70s with a light breeze. Scott got a haircut and Bailey had a friend over. The kids had a fun babysitter while Scott, Landon and I went to dinner and a movie with some good friends from my mission. We were even in bed by 10! That never happens and it helped since Landon got up twice that night. I need productive days like that one to rejuvenate me as a mother.
Today's midweek activity was Garden Basics and I really want to start a garden. I can't dedicate the time it would take right now; I barely get anything done besides feeding and holding Landon. My boys need a lot of love as babies. Fortunately there are three growing seasons in Arizona so I can start in October when Landon is a little happier and less demanding.
There is a time and a season for everything. I need to keep reminding myself of that when my days are filled with kids' needs and I am exhausted emotionally and physically. I'm so grateful that the Lord makes up the difference in everything I do. He definitely wants us to be successful in our lives and with Him we can be. Just remember: sometimes our successes come in ways that are not recognizable to us now.

2009-02-26T18:56:00.003-07:00

My birthday was such a wonderful day. Scott stayed home to do a doctor's appt., podcast and oil change so he took Myles with him most of the day. I went to lunch with friends and can't remember the last time I laughed so much. We went to dinner as a family and then I escaped to the movies with a friend. I brought Landon since he won't take a bottle and he slept the whole show. As I was recounting my day to Scott and how perfect it was I realized that I didn't see much of my kids. Was that why it was so great? Partially it was; I haven't had a good break in a long time. I'm glad not all days are so me-focused, but it really made it easier to wake up at 3 and again at 6 with Landon last night. Yuck! But I feel reenergized and so grateful for so many good people in my life. I am so blessed and am truly feeling the love. I love life!

2009-02-25T09:55:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to me!

Landon's Blessing

2009-02-11T20:31:00.008-07:00

We blessed Landon February 1st. Here are some pics from the weekend everyone was here. Landon doesn't seem too thrilled with this pacifier, does he?

This is my cousin, Steffie. She is so funny and so photogenic. I'm so glad she came down!
Here Julie compares Landon's thighs to her forearm
I love this picture of Myles!
Bailey looks so cute! She had to wear Julie's stylish glasses to the park.
Here is our first family picture since Landon was born.
Scott with my uncle Russ, who was really close with my dad. I think the three of them will get along really well in heaven. Russ is a great surrogate grandpa to my kids and we appreciate it!
Landon screamed during the entire blessing in the church. I can't say I'm surprised.

I am so grateful that my mom came out from Japan, that my grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousin drove all the way from Utah, and that Tyler was here on business. I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. What a wonderful weekend with loved ones.

2009-01-24T20:44:00.006-07:00

Today was the perfect day. After doing Saturday chores and cleaning up the backyard, we went to the park and had a great time together. Bailey is so strong; she could do the monkey bars all day. Myles is finally enjoying the swings and is a little dare devil on the ladder and slides. Landon loves being outside and is a lot more alert lately. He is determined to find his thumb, although he closes his little fist around it. He ends up frustrated that his whole fist won't fit in his mouth. He is so much fun. The weather is incredible and I couldn't have asked for a better day with my little family.

"Men are that they might have joy." I have been trying to emulate all my great friends who really take time to enjoy their kids. I need to slow down sometimes. Life isn't always sunshine and roses, but I can certainly enjoy it more AS IT IS rather than waiting for everything to be as I want it to be. Scott and Peggy (his mom) are great examples of people who see the positive in everything. I am grateful for their examples and for my little family for loving me as I am.

Barber Family update

2009-01-14T15:03:00.006-07:00

I just love my little family. Landon isn't always crying, but he seems to be whenever I get the camera out. He has stopped giving me the 4-5 hour sleeping periods that my body was getting used to. He is so unpredictable still. I'm giving him two more months to sleep 6 hours straight before we start letting him cry it out. He is starting to smile at us (on purpose!) and is very social. He does not like to be alone when he is awake. Both Myles and Bailey do a good job at making him happy.
I am not looking forward to potty-training Myles at all. He is going to be 3 in June and although I don't enjoy changing his diapers, I'm going to wait until his birthday to begin. I would love for him to show interest before then, but it's not looking that way right now. He is so much fun. His love affair with the movie, "Cars" cracks me up. I'm still not sick of it even though we watch parts of it every day. He gets so mad if I turn it off before it's over, so I start it at the end and let him watch 1/2 hour. As long as he sees the credits, he's okay to turn it off. I'm in trouble when he starts to figure out what he's missing.
Bailey is obsessed with lip gloss. At school and at church the cool thing is to bring your lip gloss and trade with everyone. One little girl brought 6 of her mom's Victoria's secret lip glosses (without her mom knowing) and gave them all away. Bailey was pretty sad when I told her she had to give it back. Bailey loves having the wii and I love having some good leverage to get her to do her chores. She is really getting good at wii sports and mariokart. She just told me that she would like me to call her Ashley from now on because that's he nickname. Such a fun age right now!
I'm starting to feel like I can handle three kids. I still have a hard time grocery shopping with all three at the same time, but it's getting better. I bought a baby wrap that Landon loves. Scott says I look like I am wearing an Indian sari when I have it on, but whatever keeps Landon happy is worth it. For anyone looking for a good baby wrap, www.sleepywrap.com is the way to go. It is the only carrier I have tried that doesn't hurt my back, and my boys are big as babies so that says a lot.
Scott is still busy at work and church. I was hoping for work to slow down once the Christmas season ended, but he still ends up working a lot after he gets home and on weekends. I keep my mouth shut, though, because we are so grateful that he has a good job in this economy.
I am excited to have Landon blessed on February 1st. My mom, her parents and my aunt and uncle are all coming out to celebrate. I am so glad that we will have some family there. It was going to be a pretty small circle with just Scott and the bishop. Actually, we are very blessed to have good friends here that we consider family. I just love living here and am so thankful to be at this point in my life. Even though being a mom of young kids is exhausting, I can understand why women miss this time of life. I hope to be able to have a few more kids so that we'll have big family get togethers someday. I do miss getting together with family and have already starting telling Bailey that she cannot move away from us. Fat chance, since she is convinced that once she turns 18 she is moving back to Utah. I'm glad we have a few years before that happens.

2009-01-08T21:16:00.005-07:00

My dad loved the Dilbert comic strip so I put it up for him. Today would be his 56th birthday. How fortunate for him to be in a place where you don't age, don't get tired and don't have any worldly concerns at all. I do believe that he is aware of what is going on in my life and in the lives of those he loves. Sometimes I feel him near and it makes me want to be a better person. Sometimes I wonder what he told my kids about me before they came to earth. I can imagine him explaining that although I am a little crazy and very impatient, I do love them and want what's best for them. I wonder if Landon can see him or Scott's dad sometimes when he is staring off into space and smiling.
My dad has been gone for almost ten years now. Not a day goes by where I don't think about him and miss him. I miss the lost opportunities with him, especially now that I have kids. I know he would have been the best grandpa. He loved babies and little kids. I am looking forward to a big family reunion where we can catch up and just be together. I love you, Dad!

2009-01-02T15:01:00.002-07:00

So, the past few nights Landon has granted me 4.5 to 5 hours of blissful, straight sleep. Combine that with Scott being able to work from home and I feel like a new person. Besides having more energy, I went a little crazy cleaning. I cleaned out 3 garbage bags of clothes from our closet, reorganized our hall closet, got Christmas put away, organized the toys that were taking over our family room, weeded out two garbage bags full of unwanted toys, cleaned up the laundry room shelves and moved the remaining toys to the hall closet. Now my kids take one group of toys out at a time and I love it. I can't believe how freeing it is to declutter my home. And it didn't take near as long as I thought. Having Michelle here last month really motivated me to take better care of my house. I only wish I would have taken before and after pictures!

2008-12-23T09:59:00.004-07:00

Last night for Family Home Evening Bailey wanted to act out the nativity scene. Myles did not want to dress up or hold the sheep and Landon cried during most of it. Bailey played the part of an angel and then was a precious Mary. I will have fond memories of this forever.

2008-12-19T10:47:00.004-07:00

Landon cries a lot. Whenever anyone asks Bailey about him, that is her answer. She says she loves him and is so glad he is here, but he likes to eat and cry. She cracks me up. Yesterday was his best day, though, and Myles had a grumpy start, too. Now he is a very happy and sweet little boy. Landon will pull out of it.
He is growing right before our very eyes. Someone told me that with each kid they grow up faster and it is sad and true.
Yesterday Bailey told me that her friend, Emilee, was very lucky because she has the wii. I took the opportunity to teach her that we will always encounter someone who has more than we do. Having things will not make us happy but who we are and how we treat others will. I don't know if the message sank in, but it will one day. At the dentist's office she told the hygienist that she wanted two horses and the wii, but she will have to wait until we have a bigger backyard for the horses. Scott and I have no plans of owning a backyard big enough for a horse. I do hope that she will get the opportunity to work with horses and to see how much time, money and effort they require. Maybe when aunt Arycca has her own ranch with horses Bailey can trade working for riding. Otherwise, she'll just have to marry rich!

Pink Eye!!!!

2008-12-15T17:47:00.005-07:00

I woke up to the lovely sound of my screaming newborn at 1 am this morning and my right eye was burning. Turns out I have pink eye; I have never had it before and neither has Scott or the kids. I cannot believe how painful it is! I remember my greenie, Hermana Pocock had it in Venezuela. The revered cure-all down there is the lemon. Everywhere we went the people would tell her to squeeze a little lemon juice into her eye. Can you imagine how painful that would be? Not to mention what it might do to her eyesight. All I can say is thank goodness for medicated eye drops. It temporarily relieves the pain and I can't wait to be cured from this. 24 hours cannot pass soon enough!
Yesterday our lesson was on the Second Coming. Bailey often asks me about when the Savior will come and what it will be like. I cannot wait to see the Savior and see what life will be like then. Aside from the spiritual wonders I also look forward to not being tired or being subject to physical ailments. I sure appreciate my health and body much more after sickness. I am grateful for the gentle reminders of all that I have and enjoy.

Ode to Michelle

2008-12-07T21:26:00.002-07:00

One of my dearest friends, Michelle Mason, flew down from Utah to help me out this weekend! She is so fabulous to give up a weekend with her own family to come and serve mine. I cannot even list all the ways she has helped us. I got a nap Saturday and Sunday, she put up our Christmas tree and other decorations, played with my kids, watched all three kids while Scott and I went out to dinner, cleaned out my fridge and freezer, organized Myles' dresser drawers, held Landon for hours on end, stayed home with Landon so I could conduct and teach Relief Society, paid a lot of attention to Bailey and Myles and just allowed me to get things done that have been neglected. My house is clean again and looks ready for Christmas. Thanks so much to my wonderful friend, Michelle, for the best gift anyone could have given me. I love you, Michelle!

Camera Works!

2008-11-30T16:59:00.006-07:00

I was really sad when I saw that I had the two boys and Bailey pulled this face!
After a few minutes, Myles got tired of smiling and stopped looking at the camera
Two out of three is not bad
Scott fixed the camera so I thought I would try to get a cute picture of all three kids. It's harder than I thought it would be!

Broken Camera!

2008-11-29T09:48:00.004-07:00

Of all the worst times to have a camera that doesn't work, now would be it. I want to put pics of the kids and Landon on my blog. We are looking around to get a new camera, but for now, here are the pics Scott took while we were in the hospital. Just follow the link to his facebook album. Sorry!
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=69691&l=044e4&id=648535311

For all who are interested, I'm hanging in there. Three is tough, but it helps that Bailey is in school since she is the busiest and most social of us all. Landon doesn't sleep much at night (reminds me a lot of Myles) but I try to get at least an hour nap while the boys sleep in the afternoon before Bailey gets home. We are thrilled to have Landon here and cannot believe he is almost 2 weeks old. Scott is way too busy with work and we are both ready for the holiday season to be over so we can see him at home more often. Bailey is wonderful with the baby; she loves to hold him and is a big helper to me. Myles is sweet with him, too. Life is good!

2008-11-19T10:43:00.003-07:00

It's me - Scott, filling in for Bec today. Little Landon James Barber was born on Monday, Nov 17th, 2008 at 11:26am. To Becky's delight and surprise he weighed in at only 8lbs, 2oz and is 20.5 inches long. Not bad for a week overdue! Unfortunately he is jaundiced and won't be coming home until tomorrow if things go well. At least it's only jaundice and not something life threatening. He's a quiet little boy so far and doesn't cry too loud or very much. We can't wait to have him in our home. Bailey has been worried about him, and she's so excited to have mom and baby come home. More pics to follow later.

I have a tween!?!?!

2008-11-05T20:06:00.003-07:00

Apparently, Bailey is a tween. I had no idea what I was in for, but we have entered that stage. She saved up her allowance and bought the High School Musical 2 CD; she listens to it morning and night. It's the first thing she asks for in the morning and after school and all night long. I can't stand how every song sticks in my head but I do love watching her dance and sing and rock out to her CD. She is so adorable.
Today she and her friend were discussing politics. Bailey has been very interested in the Presidential election. At school her class voted and she was very excited about McCain winning. She was very sad to learn that he lost in real life. Scott and I aren't McCain fans (but we weren't impressed with Obama, either) so I am surprised to hear her so interested. She and her friend were so funny! Her friend said, "I wish we had a sign that told Obama he couldn't win" and Bailey was, like, totally agreeing with her. I love how grown-up my little 6-year-old talks and acts.

Happy Halloween

2008-11-02T20:41:00.005-07:00

My little Cinderella and Thomas the Tank Engine had a wonderful time getting candy. The weather was really, nice, too. That translates to "we didn't sweat that much walking around." Myles caught on to the candy thing after a few houses but once we opened up a sucker for him, he didn't care if he got anything else. Bailey had a great time; she rode around on her scooter so she could maximize her loot. We ended up at my friend, Rebecca's house. They had the right idea: grilled chicken and steak, appetizers, drinks and smores all set up in their front yard. I'm not much for candy, anyway, and that feast was perfect.

2008-10-29T10:31:00.003-07:00

At my appointment two weeks ago my doctor told me, "Let's try not to have another 9 pounder." Uh, gee, doctor, I really liked being 8 days past my due date with Myles and then having an enormous baby boy to lug around. At the last appointment he says, "You can go into labor anytime now." Hmmm. And how am I supposed to do that? I am not dilated (I wasn't even to a 1 the day before I had Myles) and my body doesn't like to be induced. We tried to induce Myles three days before the due date and I was in full labor for 12 hours and didn't dilate at all. Please don't tell me to take castor oil, either. If being induced doesn't work, then castor oil will only make me very sick and dehydrated. I would much rather wait for when my body decides.
I am truly okay with that. I have already planned to be a week late and we aren't buying newborn size diapers or clothes. I padded my due date by a week and have been able to mentally stick to it. I thought I would be more anxious, but last night when I was at Target and Bailey and Myles were running around crazy, I thought about when I have another child and I won't be able to just pick up and go to the store for a quick trip. Nothing is quick with a newborn, except when you just fall asleep and the next thing you know, two hours have passed and it's time to wake up and feed the baby again. Amazingly, I am able to just enjoy this time right now because I know sleep deprivation and pure exhaustion are on the way. I do want to see this little guy, though.....

Nothing better than ice-cream

2008-10-23T15:37:00.002-07:00

I remember how hot it was in Venezuela and yet we could not find ice-cream anywhere! Sure, some man in the street was selling some kind of icee (we were always wary of the artificial flavoring, especially the YELLOW ones) but we were not allowed to buy street food; that was a very wise rule from our mission president. I missed ice-cream terribly while on my mission. And peanut butter. And real chocolate. We all know my Kryptonite is chocolate and peanut butter.
I just LOVE ice-cream. Very rarely do I go one day without eating an ice-cream cone at night. I love to sit with Scott and talk and indulge. It calms me and erases the stress of the day. Of course, when Scott is at work really late then I will have an actual bowl and put peanuts and magic shell in with the ice-cream. And I'll actually turn on the TV and watch something that Scott would not enjoy, like Biggest Loser or Samantha Who. Thank goodness for TiVo! So, the moral of this blog is: get some ice-cream and if you haven't enjoyed the luxury of TiVo yet, splurge a little! You will never go back to life without it.

Bailey's big adventure

2008-10-16T21:31:00.006-07:00

Bailey has had her front, middle tooth hanging by a thread for a few weeks now. Of course she wiggled it everyday and we ate lots of crunchy foods, but this stubborn tooth would not budge. She wouldn't even let us try to pull it out but today she bravely told the dentist he could do it, as long as it didn't hurt. Of course he pulled it out in two seconds flat. It is so fun to have Dr. Cook (a father of one of my mission friends) as our dentist. Both my kids just love him.
Bailey looks so cute with this huge whole in her mouth, although I'm glad we did pictures a couple of days ago. I still have to take both Bailey and Myles to do pictures together so we'll have one picture with the gaping whole.
Scott's sister cannot stand loose teeth so we were thinking of mailing it to her anonymously with some fake blood on it.... Just kidding, Holly! Good luck when Brooklyn's teeth start to come out. I can't wait to see how you handle it. We all have our things that creep us out. For me, it's hair in the bathroom, even when I know it's mine!

Treasures

2008-10-12T20:38:00.002-07:00

"For where your treasure is there will your heart be also" -Matthew 6:21
My kids are my treasure. Cheesy, but true. Bailey helped Myles say the family prayer tonight before bedtime. It was one of those moments where everything is right: the kids are getting along, Scott is home so we are all together and the house is peaceful. She said these grownup sentences, like, "Bless Mom to be okay and Landon to be healthy. Bless Dad to get the things done that he needs to." Myles would just say the last word or two of each sentence. It was so sweet and my heart melted. My kids are growing up so fast and I can't stop it. I just love the ages that they are at and wish I could freeze time for awhile. Myles is going through the potty stage (we're not even close to potty-training him) but he likes to say, "poo poo, pee pee" and laugh like it's the greatest joke ever told. Bailey told him tonight that "those words aren't appropriate" and Scott and I could not hold back the laughter. I have to choose my words carefully because these kids pick up on everything. I just love my kids and can't wait to love little Landon, too.

The Great Experiment

2008-10-10T15:14:00.003-07:00

Well, last night was our big Enrichment (the first I was in charge of) and we had a great turnout! We had 50 out of our 95 ladies attend and, unfortunately as many other Enrichment counselors know, that is pretty good.
"The Great Experiment" is a month-long "spiritual strength-training" program that my Enrichment Leader experienced in another ward and we implemented in our ward. We split our ward up into 7 groups with one leader per group. Each leader was responsible for making a weekly contact with each person in the group as motivation to continue in the program.
The program had four parts: personal prayer, daily scripture study, journal writing, and following the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Each of the seven leaders hand delivered a packet to the ladies in her group. The packet had a welcome/introduction letter and a great talk by Bonnie D. Parkin on "Personal Ministry." http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=11599 The talk was to motivate the sisters to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. We also included a "bling bling" bookmark (that could not be overlooked) for a reminder to read the scriptures and a small journal (my Enrichment Leader handmade them) that would fit in a scripture case. The last thing we included was a sample-size mascara tube from Mary Kay. This was used as a reminder that before you put on your "temporal eyes" (mascara) we should have personal prayer with the Lord and use our spiritual eyes.
During the month we also delivered another talk, this one by Sheri L. Dew entitled, "Awake, Arise, and Come Unto Christ". She gave this talk at this year's Women's Conference and of course it was powerful and exactly what we needed to hear. http://ce.byu.edu/cw/womensconference/archive/transcripts.cfm
Last night we met as individual groups at our Leader's house for a light dinner and talked about how our month had gone. We finished the night by meeting at the Church for dessert and our Relief Society President bore her testimony.
I was so excited by what I witnessed. Women from all different walks of life were able to experience small but noticeable changes in their lives. Some said they were better wives and mothers this month. Others said they noticed more trials but were also better prepared to deal with those trials. Most said they didn't have any grand experience, but small, daily opportunities to bless someone else's life. I realized as I listened to these very different women that I had seen very similar things. This past month, although very difficult as we lost Willy and I have been trying to do what I could for Peggy, has been exactly what I needed. I have been a better mother and been very blessed with patience as Scott has been working late, long hours. I have been able to help Peggy in small ways, which is a great blessing to me, too. I have done things I didn't know I could do and I am so grateful for this timing of this "Great Experiment". We were also so happy to have General Conference come right as our month-long program was ending. I loved Conference and was so excited to hear the messages of unity and harmony in our homes and wards. I recommend this worthwhile program to all the women of the Church.

Maternity clothes

2008-10-01T10:30:00.004-07:00

Well, I try not to count down the days, but I do get excited when I log into my blog and see the floating baby. Today it says only 45 days left. If only that were a guarantee. My two other kids were a week late, so let's just plan on that with this one, too.
I am too cheap to buy more clothes so the "waistlines" of my maternity shorts just go lower and lower. Thank goodness for DownEast maternity shirts. They go down to my knees! (not really, but they do reach my hips)
I am hot, big, uncomfortable and tired. Who cares? When people ask how I am do I tell them the truth? Of course not! Fortunately, the baby is healthy, kicking and certainly growing. Will he be as huge as Myles was? I am counting on it. Will I care? Nope. Once he is in my arms it will all have been worth it. If only I could just sleep through the next 45 days.....

Scottsdale Train Park

2008-09-25T20:10:00.007-07:00

We had a wonderful day at the Scottsdale train park on Saturday. We spent the afternoon on the train, carousel and playground. I can tell the air is a little bit cooler, but I still can't say it is fall weather. The reality is that I might not be able to enjoy the weather here until this baby comes out. The kids loved it and Peggy and Jill had a good time, too. I am amazed by both of them; they are able to find joy in daily life and it is an answer to so many prayers! I am always so happy when the kids make them laugh. I am so grateful to be here anyway, but the added element of living by Peggy and Jill is fun. I'm sure they would be okay without us, but the kids love them so much and I don't like the thought of not being here. If only my siblings would move down here.....
After the train park we went up to see Scott and his new server room. His company is expanding and he spent the weekend moving and organizing.
It was a tiring day, but well worth it.

Barber Baby has a name

2008-09-19T10:44:00.003-07:00

One good thing has come from the past few weeks. Scott and I have finally agreed on a name for our little boy! We like the name Landon James Barber and are getting anxious to get him here. We still have two months, but it feels great to at least have a name picked out (and one that we both like!) I never thought naming kids would be this complicated, but I didn't want to force Scott on the name Hudson. Landon fits our family better, although I still love Hudson for a boy. Maybe someday one of my friends, sisters-in-law or sister will use that name?
Little Landon will be grandchild #8 on Scott's side; there are four girls and he will be the fourth boy. Bailey and Myles had a great time visiting with cousins. We missed Holly's kids, Brooklyn and A.J., but look forward to someday having all eight cousins play together.

Willy's funeral

2008-09-17T19:50:00.008-07:00

Yesterday was Willy's funeral. For a day that no one wants to endure, it was wonderful. The funeral was very uplifting and I know Willy enjoyed it. Scott gave the eulogy; he did a wonderful job highlighting his father's life and gave a sweet tribute. Chris spoke on the plan of salvation; many people of other faiths were in the audience. We hope that Willy's family learned a little about our beliefs and I think it would be hard for anyone who was there to not have come away knowing of our deep devotion to and faith in the Savior, Jesus Christ.
Jill won the audience over with her "little know facts about my dad." She had everyone laughing and really gave a wonderful feeling to the meeting. I loved learning things about Willy that only she and Peggy knew. Several people got up and shared fond memories as well. It was a fantastic funeral.
Bailey had a wonderful weekend with her cousins. We didn't see her at all; she adopted Chris and his family as her own. It was nice to have her back today! We missed having Holly's family here, but were grateful that so many family members from both sides were able to attend and show their support to Peggy and the kids.
I miss my dad. I was not able to attend his funeral because I was in Venezuela on my mission. I don't regret that, but I still wonder how I would have felt had I been there. I have a hard time watching Scott mourn the loss of his father; it brings back so many memories of the pain I went through when my father first passed away. I feel at peace with my situation, but don't know how to help him have that peace. He must first pass through the pain and the raw hurt before arriving to where I am.
I have so much compassion for Peggy. I want to take away her pain, too, but know that I cannot. She, too, must endure this time. The Lord has it all planned out and is certainly blessing her with the daily miracles that I remember having and that my mom had. Despite the trials we have, the Lord does not leave us alone. His tender mercies are always upon us but we need to be humble enough to notice and appreciate them.
(Check out Bailey posing in this picture. Roll out the red carpet!)

2008-09-09T20:54:00.003-07:00

Thank goodness for children. Amidst our grief over losing Willy, Bailey provided some comic relief. After seeing this sign she said, "Look, Mom! Free Smoking!" We got a kick out of that.
Willy passed away today at 12:37pm. We will miss him terribly. Thanks to all for your love and prayers. Please keep them up on behalf of Peggy and Jill.

Update on Scott's dad

2008-09-03T16:49:00.002-07:00

Unfortunately, Scott's father is not going to recover. The surgery removed the tumor, but his immune system had been compromised from a year of chemotherapy and radiation. An infection in his body spread to his brain, causing a massive stroke on Friday. He has been unconscious ever since. On Monday the doctor confirmed that, although his organs are working, his brain has been seizing and he will not wake up again. Scott's brother arrived today and his sister will fly in tomorrow night. This awful news comes with so much pain and sadness. He was only 52 and very healthy. I know we were all hoping to have more time with him. No one was prepared for this.

Thank you for your prayers. I know that Scott's mom and family will continue to need love and support for a long time. Despite our faith and belief in eternity, our hearts and minds are subject to pain and grief. Death reminds us to live each day as if it were a gift. I hope to live without regret and to have a life full of love and meaning. I hope to live so that those I love will always know it.

2008-08-27T10:35:00.002-07:00

Scott has a new girlfriend. I call his laptop his "mistress" and his newest love is his Iphone. He got a really great deal from someone at church who had to have a new one. He is so excited about all that it can do that I can't help but be happy, too. I'm so glad he found a great deal and knows how to make it work with T-mobile. Now I get my Ipod back that he "borrowed" (i.e. stole) from me when his video Ipod stopped working. Happy days in the Barber technology department.
Bailey is having a hard time with first grade. I think we were spoiled with how wonderful her kindergarten teacher was. Her first grade teacher is not as warm as I guess I was envisioning. This is her first year teaching this age group and I think she is expecting a little too much from these kids. They are still only six. We are having great teaching moments with Bailey, though. She is learning to pray in her head when she needs help and she and I are also bonding better. I just love her so much; I hate to see her sad to go to school. Most days are good and Myles and I try to eat lunch with her at least once a week. She is such a great girl. Friends with older kids promise that it will get better by third grade. I hope so! Two years is a long time to wait. Bailey tells me that all the time because she wants to be baptized now. It's a third of her life!
We don't have any news on Willy. He doesn't meet with his doctor until September third. He has recovered really well from surgery and is waiting for the doctor to tell him to go back to work; he's bored to tears at home.
Myles is still so much fun. We are enjoying our days together. He is really smart. He recognizes most of the letters in the alphabet and is trying to say everything he hears. He likes to write a lot of letters, too. It's interesting how some kids start speaking in full sentences or others potty train early. Myles isn't interested in either of those things; I'll let him tell me when he's ready. That's how it works with him.
I am so curious as to what our new baby is going to be like. What will he look like? Will he be as strong-willed as my other two? How will Myles react? Bailey is excited and prays for him. Feel free to pass along any names our way since Scott and I don't agree on any!
Last night our midweek Enrichment activity was game night at my house. We had homemade ice-cream and played board games. I recommend this idea to my friends with the same calling.It was really successful and we are going to make it a once a month activity. We laughed and really got to know each other without having to spend money or plan too much. I never used our ice-cream maker before last night, either. That was a lot of work and really expensive. I don't recommend that part. Other than that, we had a great turnout and it was a lot of fun.

2008-08-21T19:22:00.003-07:00

Bailey is such a lucky girl. Grandma Peggy knows a lady who has horses; Bailey was able to go meet and pet several horses. She got to feed them carrots and loved being near them. This woman doesn't allow kids under 8 to ride her horses, but Bailey enjoyed her time with them anyway.
Look at how happy Bailey is! I cannot believe how expensive lessons are and we really don't know anyone with horses. We have been telling Bailey how expensive horses are and how her only chance to be around horses would be to make some rich friends. We are so glad that Grandma Peggy could arrange this for her.
Grandpa Willy had surgery last week and has recovered very quickly. Fortunately, he is young and strong. We don't know the diagnosis (having received many differing opinions last week) but are hoping and praying to have him with us as long as possible. If I ever wanted a baby to come early before, it was nothing compared to how I feel now. I just hope for as much time for Willy and our baby to have together as possible.

2008-08-14T19:02:00.002-07:00

Sad news for the Barber family: last year at this time Grandpa Willy discovered that he had a brain tumor. After months of prayers, surgeries and chemotherapy, the doctors declared him tumor-free. He has had regular MRIs every other month and has had to do chemo once a week each month for the past year. His MRI in June was clear. A couple of days ago Willy had a hard time speaking. The tumor has returned and is on the part of the brain that controls speech. In less than 2 months the tumor has grown to 1 and 1/2 times the size it was last year. We are anxiously awaiting the doctor's recommendations and analysis. Please keep Scott's wonderful parents, Peggy and Willy, and their family in your prayers.

A Tribute To My Man

2008-08-04T13:50:00.004-07:00

On July 31st your turned thirty-one
I hope you still consider this fun
'Cuz I have a feeling it's only just begun!

7 years ago in the temple we married
Who knew how much responsibility life carried?

You have two kids now and one on the way
Did you ever picture our life this way?
Truthfully, I wouldn't have it any other way.

A good man like you is hard to find
But I lucked out because God is kind.

You are loved and adored by a feisty wife
Who hopefully doesn't add too much strife
To your crazy schedule and busy life.

Church, Family, and Work demands on your time
Makes us grateful His plan is divine.

You work hard at all required of you.
I appreciate all that you find time to do
and hope to somehow help you through.

You handle all of the pressure so well
No one knows the true stress since you don't tell.

So here's to you, the greatest person I know.
May this eternal marriage never cease to grow
For in life's ups and downs to you I will always go.

I love you!